My boyfriend of 2 years passed away. We were in a long distance relationship for 1 year before he passed away. During that time, he had met a girl who was a colleague at his workplace. They had hung out once without me and I had insisted him to not do that and it hurts me. After this I assumed he has stopped doing that.
Suddenly, one day I got a call saying that he passed away in a road traffic accident. When I was grieving after his losing him, the colleague girl called me and asked how I was feeling and later started bragging about how close she and boyfriend were and they had went out for more than 20 times in his car and they used to share each other's personal stuff.
He had told her about me but he was hiding his hangouts with this girl and never spoke to me about this. He had also shared our personal arguments with the colleague girl.
He had told me multiple times that he wanted to marry me.
I sometimes wonder whether I was just a choice for him. I really don't know whether I have to grieve or be angry at everything he had done behind my back.
I know that he's no more and this doesn't matter but it's been a year and it's haunting me every night and I can't sleep because of this.
Please help me to get clarity as to what I have to do.