EDIT/UPDATE: Truly, thank you all for the amazing advice and comments. I was talking to my dad and he told me she’s always been abusive, but never this bad (I truly think she is mentally ill, mental illness does run in our family.). It tore me to shreds to finally have this all confirmed (I thought I was being “dramatic” and that she wasn’t abusive), I’m heartbroken. But, at least I know there is nothing I can say or do to help because she will refuse to get help for this. She’s trying to hurt me and him, and I finally see the pattern after all these years of hurt and anguish. If things get worse, I will head over to my sibling’s house for sanctuary, if not I’ll keep her at a huge distance/grey rock method her+therapy for me to deal with this till I get out. Thank you all again, you all are wonderful 💕
Also big shoutout to the Chick-Fil-A worker who saw me ugly crying in the parking lot as I typed this all out and gave me a brownie. You made my night a little better haha
TL;DR – My mom (56F) does not want to be on this earth anymore because she thinks no one cares about her. I feel hopeless since she ignores me half if not almost all the time now, but still want to help her without sacrificing my sanity. Need advice on supporting depressed loved ones.
Hello. I don’t know if this type of post is allowed on here, but I’m desperate for advice.
I (21F) overheard an argument with my mom (56F) and dad (60M). I usually don’t snoop on those types of things but suddenly I heard her say, “I don’t want to be here anymore. Life is not worth living because no one cares about me.”. My heart sunk. Not only out of fear, but out of frustration.
I feel awful for being angry at her but I try and care deeply for her how she likes to be cared for. Giving her gifts, kind notes and daily messages from work, her favorite drinks and snacks, etc. because gift-giving is her love language. I’m hurt because she doesn’t even acknowledge these things. She doesn’t even acknowledge me half or even most of the time even though I literally live in the same house as her. She’s also been becoming increasingly more emotionally abusive/controlling, and I’m scared physically abusive soon.
I know depression is awful, and I want to help, but I can’t help but feel like she’ll ignore me during this period of her life as well. I’m scared, and feel hopeless. Does anyone have any advice for helping your depressed loved ones? I don’t know how much I can help without sacrificing more of my sanity. I feel like she hates me, based on her verbiage she used in this argument I heard. Thank you.