Whenever I make a statement like this, people feel like they need to somehow correct me by saying "You can do it, you'll find the right person, you just have to talk to people." But they don't understand that I've already tried. I know there's nobody here or anywhere for me. I'm not attractive enough, my skin is absolutely horrendous. I don't actually do anything. No career path, I don't party. I mean I talk to people, but there's no situation I will ever be in where I will meet someone who will have a relationship with me.
Like seriously, I'm not going out to a bar, I'm not going out to a club. Any remaining public space where being social is acceptable nowadays, I'm not interested in it. And nobody cares about me on dating apps. I'm just not attractive enough. Even the least attractive girls I see don't like me. I always cope that I'm at least somewhat decent looking, because I work out and I have a bit of a jaw line. But when my face is covered with scars, bumps, acne, spots, and my skin is oily no matter what I do. It's just too difficult. You're telling me I have to somehow cook 3 healthy meals a day, do a complex skin care routine, work out, have a good full time job, just to be able to appeal to anyone? I'm exhausted trying to do one of those things.
I'm even so desperate I've tried my luck at trying to meet people on reddit. And every single time I send a picture of myself, no matter how good I think the picture is, they ghost me after. I know my body isn't the worst out there, so that's not the issue. But my face and my skin are absolutely horrible, and I know it. But I can't fix it, I just don't have the effort inside me to try anymore. It's all too difficult.
People also say when you stop trying to get a realtionship, that's when it'll happen. But it's not fucking true. When I stop trying to get a relationship I will rot in my room and not talk to a single soul. Not the recipe for finding a significant other, now is it. I'm glad other people are somehow able to balance everything in their life and find happy relationships. Because I can't even get close.
7 comments
Why do you want a relationship?
I feel the same lol
Is your skin condition potentially something autoimmune? Seems like you could push harder on finding a solution. Your career path is in your hands. “Jaw line” obsession is something that only dudes on Reddit obsess with. Look around you; plenty of fat unattractive men have a partner walking with them. I highly doubt your claim that you can never meet somebody.
Have you considered that your own standards could lead to this outcome?
Finally, if you keep telling yourself you’ll never meet somebody, you’re right! You’re your own worst enemy with that one. Work on the self imagine man – find therapy if you need it – learn to talk to strangers even if you aren’t attracted – and all these things will be ready when you bump into somebody attractive and need to make a good first impression.
I think we’re all a little curious on what you look like and other people look like on here without filters or duck lips or anything. Just naturally you.
I think seeing a dermatologist to fix your skin will make you:
1. More attractive to others
2. More confident in yourself
Give it a try bro
I don’t know you and I don’t mean to be rude but you sound like you don’t have your own life together right now. You’re exhausted from doing basic self-care / working a full time job which is understandable but adding a relationship to the plate will only make things more difficult. The negative self talk also doesn’t help. Physical attraction is important but I think people care more about how you make them feel. If people enjoy being around you they won’t care much about what you look like (and your looks probably aren’t the issue anyway). All this negative self talk kind of repels people. Anyways I hope you do find what you’re looking for
Here’s the truth: You gotta be someone worth being in a relationship with.
This idea that people should accept us for who we are is noble, but naïve. The reality is, you’ve gotta work on yourself.
Yes you have to take care of yourself.
Yes you have to do a complex skin routine.
Yes you have to have something (job, career, hobbies, charity, etc) going for yourself.
Yes you have to socialize with people and get good at being someone others want to be around.
If that’s what it takes.
Stop expecting the benefits of a relationship if you’re not willing to do the work to get into one. People looking for romantic relationships are looking mostly for two things: Attraction and connection. If you aren’t doing the best you can to stimulate those things in other people, then you’re never gonna end up in a relationship. Point blank. Like, I’m sorry, you can be the sweetest person in human history, and it won’t matter unless it looks like you put effort into making human connections.
Idk what happened, but post-pandemic, its seems like more people have devolved into this mindset that they should be allowed to do the bare minimum and still attract a romantic partner. They barely workout, they don’t take care of themselves, they never go out, they don’t engage in hobbies that don’t involve isolation or doomscrolling on the internet, and yet somehow don’t understand why they can’t get in a relationship.
I’m only telling you this because I used to have this exact mindset. I started taking care of myself, socializing more, doing things I enjoyed just for the hell of it, and now I’m pulling women the dude I was at 25 would never have imagined.
Just put in the work, fam. Like, at this point, what do you have to lose? If you do everything I say and still don’t end up in a relationship, then at least you’ve done something for yourself, and that’s still better than where you are now.