One of the biggest head-scratchers I keep seeing (and hearing from friends) is how often people go on a great first date, good conversation, laughter, even a hint of chemistry, and then poof, the other person disappears.
It’s not ghosting after a dry chat or an awkward meet-up, but after what seemed like a genuinely positive connection. Sometimes they’ll even text afterward saying they had a great time, and then vanish within a few days.
It makes me wonder: is this just people keeping their options open? Fear of commitment even at the earliest stage? Or are we just too overloaded with choices these days to give something time to develop?
Curious to hear if others have run into this and what you think drives it.
19 comments
Dating apps = unlimited options
Thats why
Because they don’t want to hangout again. I don’t think there’s any commitment coming up after one hang. I’ve noticed after 3 dates dudes tend to freak out
Some people are great actors and can make the other person feel like the date is going well
Sometimes you may enjoy a date but just not see a future with that person. Could be for any reason. Just enjoy the experience
My guess is one of two things. Either they didn’t also feel the same level/type of energy, but they are still kind and cordial. Coupled with struggling to tell people bad news (we all do this it only hurts when it get done to us). Second, there are two halves of attraction: energy and physical. There can be great energy (like you’d make great friends), but if the physical is not all there it’s a done deal. All daters incl us are fickle. Just be sure you never do that to anyone else lest you create a nice little karmic trail for yourself to deal with later. I also remind myself that if they do it now they may do it later so ✌️ I’m out too 🫡. If you want to You could send a text saying “before I move on I just wanted to be sure I’m interpreting this currently, you do not wish to continue? If so, I understand and wish you the best”. Sometimes they come around later when the time is more right, with contrition. I don’t like to close bridges bc you never know. Many people date before they’re ready, and when they meet someone they like at the wrong time it scares them. Fear causes us all to react differently then when safe.
I’m going to say this from experience..
Dating apps are an absolute joke- a fake connection!
People jump on them when they’re bored or just getting out of a relationship or wanna hook up.
All to get validation..
There is a small percentage looking for love and it’s very small-under 10%..
People are looking for entertainment as a distraction from their daily grind instead of connection.
I disappear if I was creeped the hell out, it was unsafe or he was so forward and I was not attracted to him. I don’t think it’s a matter of entertainment or choices. It’s connection. It’s complicated and never assume you did anything. How people behave is always about them.
Even after a genuinely good date, many people struggle to focus on one connection if they’re juggling conversations or dates with others. The ease of meeting new people can make even strong connections feel more replaceable.
Some people are capable of having a good time with people they don’t feel something romantic or attraction based. Positive is not enough to make someone like you for a second date unfortunately. A hint is nice, but I’ve been on dates that turned to relationships and it was never a hint. It was like a man wearing too much cologne sign of chemistry.
It was a good date for you, not for them
Their married
If you have one date and you don’t think it’s going to work out it can feel a bit weird to do an official break off so people will just let it go. This can feel weird to the other person of it feels like there was a connection but probably they thought it was a nice evening but just didn’t see it going anywhere. That said ghosting if someone messages you is just rude.
Perhaps the date wasn’t that great and maybe they had a good time but don’t see a future with you. Not that deep after one date…
Maybe the dates were not as great as they think they were.
The interest isnt there most likely…it’s tiring but it’s better for them to leave instead of pursuing someone they dont actually care about and lying to them
They are probably just good at meeting new people and showing interest in them. So the great date is just all them no matter who they meet. And they just didnt feel a connection or attraction.
Its so weird. Happened to me last year. Had a great date he texted the next day to say he hoped we could do it again, then poof… like a geenie.
I don’t think he had another waiting, he wasn’t quite the kind. I tried following it up with another text but nothing. God knows why he said he hoped we could do it again when he could of said _as mates_
Maybe they’re afraid of commitment