Ngl in my 20s, I was constantly trying to get ahead like really competitive for more money, more validation, more everything. Not on my 30s yet but I stopped chasing some of it,and for the first time in years, I actually felt calm. Is it just me? Haha
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I stopped chasing the idea that I had to be impressive at all times, now I just want a job that doesn’t make me hate Tuesdays and a bed that doesn’t hurt my back… turns out peace -> prestige.
Let go of the grind 24/7 mindsets. Now I grind at the steady 65%, drink water, stretch my hamstrings, and say no without the full-blown identity crisis = Growth 😊
Biggest one: I stopped chasing the idea that any other human would or could make me feel complete or fulfilled
Next biggest: I stopped trying to be the person that other people wanted me to be and learned to just embrace what makes me happy without feeling the need to justify it.
Paperwork. I can’t seem to care about documents anymore. I just ignore all these bureaucracy and most of the time documents just go away.
Getting better at guitar. It’s a lot of work just for my walls to be hardly pleased.
It’s hard to get a band together when everyone is working/married/etc. and even then…not much in the way of shows for nobodies.
People’s acceptance.
Social validation. My job takes up so much of my social battery that I don’t care to force myself to socialize. Don’t get FOMO anymore when I don’t go out. My most recent ex was in her mid twenties, all she talked about was wanting to relax and stay in to read or just decompress. Then one of her friends would ask her to do something and she’d feel like she has to go then complain about it the whole time. Don’t miss feeling like I needed to impress people to be friends with them.
My own tail
Women. Improved myself instead.
Thinking that I’m a club guy. I’m not a club guy.
Mental well-being.
Turns out I’m more peaceful being anxious and self loathing
Peace
romance
Women at 38. Found most of my problems went away after that.
Simply put, time before money.
As a byproduct I started changing my beliefs towards perceived ‘status’ in the circles I’m in.
It’s sort of sad to see the rat race from the outside once you change perspective. That and the games people play to make their worlds go around.
Stopped chasing acceptance from people that didn’t really matter
Happiness. Chasing happiness meant the chance of sadness. Atleast now I have peace.
I am pretty content with life so far, I spent 10 years disregarding Romance but recently it’s crossed my mind again, would be nice to feel that again, but my brain and soul know all too well the ecstacy and pitfalling feeling of that connection, so tip toeing back into dating slowly.
your mom
I learned (if you gave a grade to employees) there are A, B and C employees (the Ds and Fs dont last long.) The C employee always climbs the ladder because the kiss ass to cover for being a shitty employee. The A employee that thinks if they work really hard and goes above and beyond they will get promotions. But instead they just work harder and never move up because a company doesnt want to lose them in that position. Then there are B employees that come in do what is required and go home. I used to be the A employee when I was younger and now I am much happier being a B employee. My stress almost vanished.
Now not only am I Union, but moved to the upper side of that and I get to go after those C employees that get promoted that arent part if the Union….
I hate that it takes so long for most people to chill out like this. It really ruins a lot of friendly fun competitive or collaborative activities unless you segregate by age.
I really hope it’s a cultural thing and not an inherent reality of man that can’t be helped…
Stopped chasing after other peoples’ approval.