I'm an "extroverted introvert." I've been told a lot I come off as friendly, interesting, and funny. On top of that, I take care of my appearance, so getting dates has never been difficult. But it's happened a few times in a row where I date a guy for a couple months, things seem to be going well, and then I get hit with a "I've enjoyed my time with you, but I'm not feeling a romantic chemistry/spark."
At first, I brushed off these almost-relationships failing because I know they just happen sometimes. In some cases, I was even realizing myself we may not be the most compatible. But I had a lot of hope for the last guy. We dated for 3 months. We had so much in common, conversation flowed, our dates were always many hours long. Physical chemistry was there too, he loved kissing me. He told me he liked me, liked spending time with me, and wasn't seeing anyone else. The only issue that came up was that we potentially wanted to settle down in different places, which freaked him out but we had a conversation about it and he seemed to feel better, even started putting more effort afterwards. But recently, while we were in the middle of making out, he stopped to ask, "I like kissing you so much…but do you feel we have good chemistry?" He explained everything feels so comfortable/easy between us, he always looks forward to and enjoys spending time with me and likes kissing me, but he wasn't sure we had a 'spark' and were more like friends. He couldn't pinpoint what was missing exactly, but figured if he was questioning it, it was better to breakup.
I felt blindsided and still am confused why he was feeling that, despite everything seemingly going well. I can't help but feel it's related to me being an introvert at heart. I love going out and getting to know people, but at the end of the day, I have a limited social battery. There are times when I can't/don't want to talk much, just sit in silence. I had reached a point with the last guy where I felt comfortable not being 'on' all the time. While we still had fun, there were definitely more moments of silence between us. I always thought they were comfortable, he would even still say at the end of date he had fun and wanted to see me again, so I didn't see any issue. But I wonder if they made dates feel less exciting. I remember him telling me once he thought I was bubbly/extroverted at first, but as he got to know me, realized I am pretty introverted. I was upfront about this by the way, so it shouldn't have been a surprise, but maybe hearing about it is different from seeing it. Also, I'm not the flirtiest girl. I do show interest by asking questions, making eye contact, giving small touches, and teasing. I also will initiate plans so it's not like the guy does all the work. But explicit verbal flirting has never been my forte. I can follow a guy's lead, but a lot of guys I meet aren't skilled enough in that too (this guy especially wasn't tbh, I've even tried initiating myself and he wasn't responsive), so there often isn't a whole ton of banter, which I fear is contributing to the platonic feeling.
It's possible I just haven't met the right guy. Introverts do get into relationships. But it feels like the type of guy I like wants an extroverted girl and I don't know how to get over that hump.