Since my late teen years I have been having this mental picture in my mind of how my future would look like.
Its 8:30 am. It's a sunny Sunday morning of a pleasant summer day, We are in our backyard for breakfast, There are 7 of us – Me, My beautiful wife (we are expecting a babygirl), my twin boys, My mom & dad and a golden retriever. My parents are talking to each other, My boys are playing with the golden retriever, and my wife is setting up the breakfast. I am a few yards away from them and I am looking at the nature around and feeling blessed to be in this moment. My wife calls me for the breakfast, I look back and she's smiling at me, it is the most beautiful smile ever, a smile so beautiful and so pure that it melts my heart, her eyes are the brightest of all the colors, I look to the left of my wife and my boys are waving their hands at me, the goldie is running circles around them, I look to the left of my boys and I see my parents, I see incredible amount of pride in their eyes, I can see they are proud of me. After looking at all of them, I once again look at the nature around me for a second and realise how blessed I am to have this life.
This is my mental picture.
I am 30M and my life is nothing like this. There are so many things to say, but I don't like giving power to negativity. I should have been more proactive in my 20's which I wasn't.
Now life feels heavy.