This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.
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What do you do when you’re lonely and have no one to see and nothing to do? And maybe you don’t want to see your friends either?
I got a late (month +) reply to my opening message and struck up a conversation last week with regular replies, but it’s been a few days and no reply to the past one (which was a question). I feel it’s probably a “Not looking for a penpal” situation, but this weekend happens to be horrid timing for actually going out on a date – and trying to offer for something that’s a week+ out doesn’t seem like the right call.
I’m wondering— men do you experience the biological clock? I’m a woman in my mid-thirties and my dating decisions are definitely influenced by my desire to have a biological child one day. I’ve been trying to aim for men who are closer to 40, since my assumption is that might want a similar timeline for marriage and TTC. Men is this something you experience and if so at what age?
I woke up this morning and thought to myself “If a girl like that is interested in going on a second date with a guy like me, maybe that says something good about me and I should listen to that.” Gonna try and hold onto that feeling for as long as I can.
Wrote a few weeks back about how often men I started talking to wanted to meet somewhere closer to their area than in mine.
After a week, had a date who planned to meet near my place. A day after, had someone pick me up and drove all the way to the ocean until the sun is up. Both dates were great but they didn’t reach out after a day or so.
Now, I have another date this coming weekend, he officially asked me out and pick a coffee shop a few miles away from my area.
The universe is listening. Also, I have a good hunch on this upcoming date this weekend.
I have been exchanging postcards with a tinder match since 2015. We will finally get to meet in Japan next month.
Preparing for spine surgery next Friday. Sucks that I have to put things like dating on pause while I recover. I really want to start working out daily again but that’ll have to wait a while.
I can’t remember ever feeling this excited about someone!! We met on the apps, chatted a bit and eventually exchanged numbers, and due to one conflict or another couldn’t meet up for like 2 weeks. Texting was sporadic and I was kind of meh about the connection. But we finally met up for a drink on Saturday that turned into dinner, and at the end of the night we BOTH went in for a kiss and it was amazing!! I as a rule don’t kiss on the first date but this seemed so right! The next night my friend’s kid got sick so I was unexpectedly free and took a shot and texted him to see if he wanted to meet for a late drink and he immediately said yes! Which led to another evening of great conversation and then making out in his car when he dropped me off…we were both laughing like how are we doing this at age 38 lol. Due to work schedules we weren’t going to see each other again for a week and it’s been so hard but THEN out of the blue last night he asked if I had any interest in grabbing a quick drink super late at night after work and that it could only be like an hour meetup because he realizes we both have to get up the next morning and said I could totally tell him to eff off if it was a crazy idea, but of course I was in! So we met up very briefly last night and it was very sweet and spontaneous just chatting and getting to see each other for a little bit.
This is crazy right, that’s it’s been less than a week and we both this into each other? He even said last night that he usually is one who likes his space and his free time but all of that has gone out the window with me. And I was honest that I was not expecting this kind of connection but here we are! We have both agreed to take it very slowly, but are excited to see where this leads. I’m doing my best to keep expectations low but just feel an insane chemistry with this man!!
I’ve always dated older (like 10+ years older), but decided to try dating men more in my age range now that I’m in my early 30s. On my second date with a guy I’m really into I learned that he was 3 years younger than me and in his late 20s, and I know it’s such a small age gap but it feels so significant to me 😅 I’ve just never dated anyone younger before so I feel like a cougar lol
This is part rant, part asking for advice for my first ever post here.
TL;DR: Not sure if I’m friendzoned by a guy I think I like because I have no idea how to date.
I (34F) matched with this guy in May on Hinge when I was in another country, the next weekend I was back in the same country and we went on a date in a city neither of us lives in (but I visit frequently because it’s nearby). It was a big step for me to meet someone IRL that I had only texted briefly with. I enjoyed it, I think he did too. It was surprising considering I’m awkward AF and talk way too much when I’m nervous.
We’ve been texting every day since, and some time in July I sent an awkward voice note saying I liked talking to him and wanted to see where this would go. He was really nice about it and said we should talk about it, but then… We never did, and we’ve kept missing each other for audio/video calls (except once) because of time differences.
It’s been 3.5 months. I’m not sure how to take things forward. I’m terrible at signals/flirting — never actually been in a relationship thanks to sitcom-worthy experiences and some actually bad ones — and am terrified of ending up a viral screenshot meme. I’m also paranoid he’s in this subreddit and will see this and recognize me 🙈.
He’s moving to the city we met in, next week (unrelated to me). IDK how to ask if he’s actually interested in me, or if he sees me as a pen pal, while acknowledging we’ve had 1 IRL date, 1 phone call and lots of IG messages/story shares and texts. (We’ll both initiate conversations on a given day.)
Also I admit I am scared to hear his response. I’ve had no luck matching with people on the apps, who I connect with like I do him (again, a comedy of errors here with the few I do match with, the most recent one asked me for a job 🙄). I wish I could practice dating but it’s hard to meet people where I live IRL.
Anyway, thanks for reading/listening. 🙈🙈🙈
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I’ve got a date tonight for the first time since ending my last relationship. The guy and I matched on Hinge. Even if nothing comes of it, I’ve enjoyed our messages so far and he seems really nice. I think it will be a good, easy introduction back into dating. I’m excited!
Also last night at Target a man literally stopped in his tracks and asked me “Do you get hit on a lot? Because you look good” and asked if I was single. Talk about a confidence boost 😂
When is it going to be enough?
I eat well, I exercise, have hobbies, see friends & family, do fun things, travel, have a good job, a dog I take care of. When is someone finally going to see what I have to offer and like me for me? Dammit I just want to have someone to tell about my day & to hold at night.
Some days it’s just so hard to see the clearing through the trees.
/end rant
Feeling safe around quiet guy, few dates in I said I could see my future with him, he freaked out and choose friendship. Sigh.
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Last week I posted that after 2 months/7 dates I noticed she’d deleted/unmatched me on an app. I stayed cool and set the next date.
Since then we had another awesome date (8).
Ends up being she has framed a pic of us and displayed it on her dresser. Saw it in the morning and I didn’t make a bigass deal about it. I just said, “heyy, cool I recognize those two nerds”. She said warmly, “heh yeah I thought it was a funny picture”. Rest of the day she was extremely close to me and affectionate. That’s my sign she’s the one. Date 9 this weekend. Wish me luck, peeps.
Exactly one week until my boyfriend is back from his work trip. He’s been gone since September 1st, and I’ve actually handled our time apart well and have kept busy. Before he left there was some rockiness, but I think being apart for a bit has helped the both of us. I’m very much looking forward to our reunification. Our 6 month anniversary is the 30th, which is just crazy to think about.
A few days ago, I got a response to a like/message I had sent someone on Hinge….three years ago! 😂
Signed up for a singles event for tonight, which I guess is just talking at a bar. Not sure why I signed up, I’m not the kind of guy who is brave enough to approach women. I kind of want to stay home and play Silksong, but I guess I should go and at least see what it’s like, maybe get mentally prepared for next time.
Tomorrow is the first test of my resolve to just be normal. Won’t avoid him, but won’t actively go and greet him. Will make as much small talk as deemed polite. It’s a sports event – signed up before I saw he’s attending too.
One of the more annoying things about dating in your late 30s is it’s just so damn hard to schedule with people. I’ve been chatting with a guy I’d really like to meet up with, but my next few days are completely booked with various obligations and then the following week he’s not available, so in theory we can’t meet up for like a week and a half. I feel like that’s just enough time for things to either fizzle out or to get in that weird “texting too much before meeting” space that can set one up for disappointment.
I guess a good balance would be to just make a plan for a week and a half, and check-in / stay in contact a bit during that time but not be chatting all day every day.
I’m ~6 weeks out from a very sad breakup that I didn’t want to have to go through.
I’m doing all the things. I’m less stressed now so my drinking has been cut in half; I’ve been walking 4-5 miles every single day and I’ve lost 6-7 pounds; I’ve been trying to spend more time with roommates and friends; I’ve picked up extra shifts at my bartending gig. I still think about her every day, and cry most days. She was being *such* an asshole, and I miss her terribly.
I went on a mini-date Monday, met up with someone I’d been lightly chatting with on Feeld at a show. We walked and talked for 10 minutes or so afterwards and before we peeled off into our different directions to go home she kissed me and I felt absolutely nothing whatsoever. Just fucking dead inside.
This week sucks.
One thing about dating guys in their 20s… they can become absolutely feral (in a welcome way for me lol). I remember the conversation a few days back here where some of you are/have dated in this age range and was curious about your experiences as well.
Nerdy, sweet, attentive(!) guy I’m talking to which started a lot on app due to availability, met for a couple nice daytime things, definite interest but no sexual comments/advances. Went to a movie last night and maybe it’s true… they say there’s only enough blood for one head or the other lol. Went back to his after and had a great time xD
I swear the universe is just playing pranks on me. Just as I decide I’ve had enough of getting to know new people for a good while a new hire showed up for work today. She’s around my age.
I spent the majority of my lunchbreak getting to know her for a bit, since it was just the two of us. I mean, I can’t be a jerk and just ignore her, right? Turns out we have a lot of similar interests and hobbies, so that’s fun. Overall it was fun to have a nice conversation with someone new for the sake of just getting to know someone.
So yeah, I guess getting to know new people is not as much of slog as I felt like it was a couple days ago. It at least opened me up to the idea of getting out there again. Thanks universe.
So this guy I’m talking to says he’s separated, but he still lives at the same address as his wife. And sure, he has lots of wonderful reasons for why that is sensible and even kind, but like – that’s sus, right? He also doesn’t have face pics because he has a public job, which is nominally true, but like, also feels sus to me. I’ve already decided that the vibes are too off but just out of curiosity – do you guys think he’s cheating?