This might not be limited to just the UK, but as this is where I live, I know nothing else. All I know is that over the last decade, things have increasingly become more and more difficult to endure.
I've always suffered from autism (diagnosed as an adult). It defines every single day, including where I feel safe to go, where to avoid, what actions to take to avoid triggers, etc.
However, despite in my youth being perfectly happy taking public transport and enjoying the cinema, I now cannot do these things. There is too much noise, too much distraction and noise/video from devices and members of the public. It never used to be this bad – things have steadily ramped up in the last five years or so. I now have to actively avoid public transport or cinemas as I know I will end up distressed and either jumping out, or leaving early.
It's the same with everything – everything is significantly louder, more in your face, and more in a hurry. It's completely at odds with how my mind works and how I grew up experiencing the UK. I find it stressful to go out. Being on the roads is out of the question, as I have also noticed the roads becoming more congested, and people having vastly less patience. The worry of being caught in a confrontation is at the forefront of my mind, always. It never used to be.
There is more autism recognition, but being an adult I'm not sure how much of this extra awareness even benefits myself and others like me.
With work, a stable office job for 6 years, I have primarily worked from home. However there is now a push for everyone to go back into office (a place that is hell on earth for myself due to the noise, lighting, distractions etc). I know I have the dubious benefit in this case of being classed as disabled – but I feel ashamed bringing it up. I am terrified of job hunting, as I feel my autism is a barrier to recruitment if mentioned initially, and would not go down well if hidden until my first day.
Essentially, I'm exhausted. I've never been so exhausted in my life, and it's entirely down to navigating a world that I simply do not fit in
Is this normal? I mean, am I right to be feeling like this, is it justified? Or am I just mad?