Hi Reddit, i need y’al i could really use some advice and perspective on this.
I’ve been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for a while. From the start, he’s been an overthinker, and honestly it sometimes took a toll on me mentally. Still, I stuck around and supported him through it. I’m not perfect either, but he always promised we’d work through things together. He even talked about marriage and building a future, which made me feel secure.
Recently, things shifted. I started overthinking because of the distance and because I’m a virgin while he’s more experienced. He once mentioned that he’s been getting urges a lot lately, and it made me spiral with doubt about what could happen. During that time, I just wanted reassurance from him.
But instead of reassurance, his energy changed. He texted less, became less affectionate, and when I asked about it, he told me he couldn’t keep the same energy every day. He also said that I’d been emotionally draining him. That really stung, because when he was the one being needy in the past, I was always there for him.
To be fair, I know he’s stressed with his studies right now, so maybe that’s part of it. But in that moment, it just felt so unfair. As a reflex, I blocked him on everything except Instagram. Now I’m questioning myself: was that an overreaction? Or was I just protecting my peace?
Has anyone been through something similar in a long-distance relationship? How do you balance needing reassurance without overwhelming your partner, especially when they’re under stress?