18F here, and honestly i’m feeling pretty fed up with how immature guys my age can be. i keep hearing that men mature more in their mid-late 20s but i’d love to hear: what actually changes? is it mindset, priorities, relationships? can i get some specifics? thank uuu
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For me it was career. I was pretty immature in my early 20’s, and then I got a serious job. So I had to get serious about it. And the rest just kinda followed.
What others said was “men get older in their 20s.” What you heard was “men mature in their 20s.” :)))
Depends on the person, Some change completely for better or worse and there are plenty who don’t change much or not at all. And the same applies to women. The amount running around calling themselves “girls” and “just wanting to live my best life” (which is basically just consume) is staggering.
The adult men are no looking for a woman who calls them “daddy”, they are looking for someone who is not terrified of being an adult.
Resting the urge to act out in anger. Delay delay delay your response.
Opinions are great but mostly keep them to yourself.
I am not the center of the world and that’s ok.
Maturity in men tends to mean more confident/gives less fucks. It basically means men tend to act more stable/less in an atention seeking way as we get older.
It will never mean less childish/into weird hobbies/playful. Atleast in my experience. We are all children at hearth. Even though some of us have to set it aside becaus of different responsibilities, its still there.
Anger and pride
My whole life changed from 27/32. I was directionless, on drugs, didn’t care about work, obsessed with casual flings, no purpose at all. That all changed in a 5 years period, no drugs or alcohol, massive leaps in my career, found joy in committed relationship, pursue healthy hobbies in my free time, have money saved, look after my health and ready to start a family. Life is much better than it was chasing down cheap thrills
Lol I don’t think you as an 18 year old will look back on this and think, wow I was a really mature 18 year old.
After years of feeling mentally bad (and it got really bad), I knew things had to change. So now halfway my 20’s I take way better care of my mental and physical health, and take life more seriously while still keeping the bar low and doing things I enjoy. Oh, and caring more for other people. Not even in big things, cause I’m still quite lazy at times, but in the small things. Letting another person cross before me, help someone with something small, striking a small conversation. It’s small but really meaningful stuff.
To summarise, I give less of a fuck for any and all kinds of bullshit. Especially bullshit from “my camp”. This is why most camps don’t really like me much but as stated I give less fuck.
The biggest maturity upgrade is I stopped letting the opposite sex tell me what is “good enough” or “immature”. It’s just noise from people who wants someone to listen, none of my business.
I know myself best and I live my best life regardless of other people thinking they get to evaluate me.
I also matured to see fellow men as companions other than competition. I am more than happy to empower my fellow men for living best lives.
Depends. For me as responsibilities increased the maturity changed along with that. Got a job, left home a d started paying my own bills and rent… All this meant I needed to start taking my health and financials seriously and n a natural way started dropping off some immature habits that were bad for my health and financials.
Understanding much more deeply that you have responsibilities to yourself and others, which means you must think before you act because the consequences become more intense the older you get (physically, relationally, socially, etc.)
Just hit 30. I definitely find myself taking a step back and thinking before I react a lot more. Also please don’t date a 30 year old because you think they are more mature. The 30+ year olds guys you’ll meet who actively want someone who can’t even legally drink in the US aren’t the good ones. Trust me
Never have I met a 18F that I considered mature. You might think you are, but you’re probably not.
Wanting a girls attention turned into needing a life partner.
Freedom from isolation was better than the chase.
I wanted girls as friends to understand myself more and I became so much more in touch with the opposite sex through this.
Emotional maturity and learning how to manage and prioritize responsibilities and obligations. Empathy, and learning to see other perspectives for conflict resolution instead of smashing things and throwing tantrums.
So the biggest change is emotional management.
Young men are kind of born as raging babies.
For me, it was devaluing the opinion of women in me and instead focusing on what I was happy with in myself. Being my own validation rather than seeking the validation of others was freeing
Personally, it was too take thing slower and be more patient, but I still take risks, I just don’t jump hobbies too much as I found my thing.
You’re children. It’s normal to be imature. You have to go through all the stages to maturity, all of you.
I’m saying this as a mid 30s guy, myself, don’t fall for the “you’re so mature for your age” trap that creepy old dudes be throwing your ways. You’re not mature and you shouldn’t be, at this age.
An 18 year old guy gets a taste of true freedom. By 21 he should be truly independent. For me my mid twenties I was partying it up, doing dumb shit, and actually starting to slow down. By the time I reached 30, I knew exactly what I wanted. Exactly what I didn’t want. I had had most of the experiences I would want to have (for that age), and also had learned quite a bit, and I mean ALOT, from my mistakes. My twenties was where I made my mistakes and learned from them. I’m now 32, I’ve been married and divorced, have an almost 2 year old son. And my main priority now is making sure he’s well taken care of. By my late 20s I knew I wanted to start settling down. Now that I’m 32, I don’t even wanna go out to Buffalo Wild Wings for brews. When I was 21, I wanted to walk around the streets of isla vista and see what was going on @ 1 am at this random persons house that had 20 people standing outside. I also led a pretty “experementive” 20’s where I consumed quite a bit. By my 30s I’m totally the opposite. Nope. Not today, not tomorrow, not next week, maybe some time next year.. so in summary I’d say that from 18-32 the biggest change is that now I know what I want, then I had no idea what I wanted and wanted to try everything.
Ignoring the rest of your context and just focusing on your core question: not caring about what other people think about you is the most significant maturity change as people age.
Other people might include you.
I’d need to know what you mean by “immature”.
Eh. You’re always learning and growing. As long as I take care of my responsibilities, try to learn and grow from mistakes, and treat people with kindness, I dont really mind being a bit immature.
Far too many people say stuff like ‘act your age’ or ‘don’t be so childish’ and its usually aimed at men (although women can experience it as well).
We’re all too damn serious. Not trying to change to impress people or seek their validation is mature to me. It’s just an opinion 🤷♂️