Hi everyone,
I’ve been married to my husband for 3 years. From day one, I felt safe with him. He’s kind, respectful, and provides for me. On paper, he’s a good husband. The problem is that I don’t feel emotionally or physically fulfilled.
His life revolves around gaming. He stays up late every night playing, so we don’t go to bed together. Even during meals, in bed, or while traveling, he’s usually on his phone watching reels.
When I ask for attention, he tells me I should “find something to distract myself.” Our intimacy feels very mechanical — no foreplay, no aftercare. Once it’s done, he goes straight back to games or his phone.
He never asks me about myself, my likes, or dislikes. When I try to connect (e.g., asking what he likes about me), he doesn’t know how to answer. I feel like I’m living with a nice roommate rather than a husband.
I don’t want to sound ungrateful because he is good to me in many ways, but I feel lonely in this marriage. I don’t feel attraction or that “masculine energy” from him anymore.
My question: Has anyone gone through something similar? How do you communicate the need for real intimacy and connection without sounding like you’re attacking your partner? Can this change, or am I expecting too much?
TL;DR: (F28) married to (M30) for 3 years. He’s kind and respectful, but his life revolves around gaming/phone. We lack intimacy, closeness, and curiosity about each other. I feel lonely and unfulfilled. How can I get through to him?