I 21f have been dating my boyfriend 25m for a year and some change now. He is everything I could’ve asked for in a partner. My parents love him and he treats me very well. We met at our service industry job. Around February i decided that it was time to go back to school for what I truly have a passion for. He got an offer from a company to pay his courses and hire him on after he passed his test. Over time when I would check in he would give me excuses to why he hadn’t started them. Something else important to note is his mom lives elsewhere during the summer. Fast forward to now, the market for that job is “too saturated “ for him and he no longer wants to do that line of work. His mom is now home and her and her boyfriend are dirty and I come from an OCD household so it makes me not want to stay over anymore. there’s roaches and ants, their elderly cats fur is severely matted, they keep toe nail clips on the kitchen table. And that’s just a couple examples. It’s caused a major strain on our relationship. His mom has had 2 strokes and has function in half of her body and brain. I try my best to help her clean up and have sympathy because she struggles but I’m not shown appreciation or things just go right back to the way they were so I gave up. I really do feel for him and support him since he didn’t have parent figures for his entire childhood. but sometimes it feels like I’m mothering him. Whenever our managers at work need something from him they come to me to get him to do it. I’ve completely lost my sex drive. I’m feeling like I’m starting to resent that he doesn’t want to progress past a serving job. He’s gotten a job offer to be a manager, a job with his cousin, my dad offered to get him in touch with people and he just says he’ll think about it. He has no degree which doesn’t bother me but he’s talking about moving in together and taking the next steps within 2-3 years but isn’t concerned about a job. I’ve had conversations with him about how I’m very unhappy and things need to change but I’m not sure if I got through to him. I even subtly tried to give him an ultimatum about it. I’m lost for what to do
TL;DR
My partner isn’t investing in our future by looking to get a real job. Looking for advice on how to proceed because I’m starting to grow frustrated.