29 (F) I have had a pretty awful time with dating and relationships. First relationship for about a year was with a 26 year old man who when I look back didn't likee maybe only stayed around because he was a attracted to me physical and sex. Second relationship when I was 26/27 for around 4/5 months. He one day just broke up with me. But in between I have had a horrible time dating always seeming to seek love out of people who never really truly had mutual intentions of being with me long term.

I am started to think there is something wrong with me. The past two years. I've decided to be celibate, because I truly want to find someone who like fort mond first more than anything. Dating has been hard either men simply do not want to engage in getting to know me due to no promises of sex or they find out and flee. The guys that happen to wait are just more patient.

Now it seems like no one wants me. I am a black female with a good professional job. I am 5 foot 10 so I know these things don't work on my favour. I would say I'm slim build and average looks. However couple my race and height together plus living in a major city like London the odds are against me. I either go on a date and they don't want to take it further or we go on a couple dates and it fizzles out. I haven't had a serious long term relationship I would say ever.

I am struggling with keeping on going because I just keep getting hurt by rejection. It's always the other person not wanting to take the time to develop something. I have so much love to give but no one seems to want it. I am tired of dating, I don't think love is for me. I go to events and socials and my smaller non black friends seem to have guys approach them.

However I almost feel invisible around them. I am not ugly I know that for sure and keep in shape. I don't know what is wrong with me. Maybe being in love and having the family I desire isn't in the realm of possibilities. I recently stopped talking to a guy who clearly was emotionally abusive.

They say take the time to heal and try again but I know if I try again then it'll be the same result in which I need to heal from. I have tried approaching guys that I find attractive but again rejection.

I am really considering just not getting married or even trying to date. When I am 35 I'm just going to do sperm donor to have my children. At this rate if I wait for my knight and shining armour to come along I will keep getting hurt and wnd up with nothing.

Is anyone going through the same thing especially in London?


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