For some context, my boyfriend and I are truly best friends. We are each other's first everythings. We've been told since high school that we were meant for each other. We have the same humor, morals, and interests. However, over time he has grown to be more and more controlling/clingy of me. We have always struggled with codependency issues, but I feel like I've outgrown my need to see him every day, but if anything his need to see me every day has just gotten more and more apparent. Because of this, I find myself looking forward to days where I know I won't have to see him so I can finally have time to myself. I know, it sounds awful, but I'm beginning to feel suffocated.
But here's the issue: I've basically committed myself fully to him for the rest of my life. We aren't engaged or anything, but we have both had extensive conversations over the past year and a half about how our life plans are for the betterment of our long term relationship, our views on controversial parenting topics, and even setting the timeline for when we will get engaged. To him, it's 100% certain that I'm the one. He's said it himself, he can't see himself with any other woman but me. He said he wouldn't know what to do with himself if he didn't have me in his life, almost like it would be detrimental if I even brought up taking a break.
I often find that his mood is very inconsistent. Depending on the day, I don't know whether I'm going to get a side of him that is engaging with my conversation or will stay completely silent and moody toward me. I feel like whenever we do have fun and happy quality time together, I'm having to savor that moment because I don't know when his mood will switch up next. It just really sucks because I could not imagine myself clicking with anyone else as good as I do with him. But sometimes I feel suffocated. I've been feeling this way for about the past six months, but it has gotten worse over time.
He is constantly managing my location and I have to let him know of every key detail before I go out with my friends. Even when I do that though, he will spam text me the entire time and get worried when I don't respond. He's convinced that if I go out without him, another man will "sweep me off my feet."
But I don't want to lose him. I find so much comfort in his presence and we really do click super well. But I also feel smothered a lot of the time. And when I distance myself in any way, the smothering and clinginess just becomes worse. I want to be able to experience my late teens/early twenties without any barriers, and I feel like my growth is being inhibited. But I don't want to lose him. I truly do love him. And I could not bare to hurt him that bad, considering he's built his entire identity and future off of me. He is fully convinced his life has no purpose if I'm not in it.
These are just a few things that are bothering me. I don't want to make this too long because I genuinely need some advice. Thank you guys for reading!!
TL:DR Help with moody, clingy boyfriend who is also my best friend