My boyfriend calls my verbal anxiety processing emotional dumping and tries to offer advice or silver lining thinking when I just want to get it out. I am someone who needs to process my anxiety verbally. I verbally express what I’m anxious about and I figure it out through talking/ feeling relief through getting it out. This has always been how it’s been but he gets angry and tries to give advice or tries to get me to think of the silver lining (which is often dismissive). This is really frustrating to me and not what I want. He will then often complain about how because my verbal processing is not seeking advice and that I’m just trying to pass the anxiety to him (he calls this emotional dumping). However, I’m not trying to make him feel anxious. I just want to get it out because I cope this way. All I want is sympathy and a “damn that sucks” and I’ve expressed this to him. I don’t believe in this emotional dumping thing unless it’s something specifically about him. The truth is that some things suck and some things have no solution and I just want to vent. I also work in mental health and I’ve even been taught to ask the client if they actually want advice or if they just want to get it out.
How do I express this to him in a way that he will actually listen and understand that it’s not some toxic thing? He thinks it’s some bpd symptom but really it’s just a coping technique for my anxiety and it really frustrates me when he says this. I know this is something I can’t change and so maybe I need to just leave. I’ve had this convo before but he just can’t help but go to this emotional dumping term. I just wish I could express my frustrations/ explanation in a way that he will actually listen.
TL;DR: So frustrated that my bf gets angry when I vent to him and won’t take his advice. How do I express to him that this is a coping technique that I can’t give up in a way that he would understand?