Hi All, I have been seeing a very serious, well-established man. By all accounts he is very successful, good looking and takes very good care of himself (gym, doesn’t drink or smoke, healthy food). Typical man hobbies for his age I would say. He is quite conservative but open minded, libertarian as he describes himself. And he truly is I think. He is of asian descent and grew with those values but in a western country. He has an established image of what a man is (which I don’t agree with but to each their own) that is: capable and a provider. Which he is.
I am adding that backstory because maybe the explanation lies in it. Conservative approach to sex? We have been sexually involved for 8 months now. We are quite serious about each other (meet the families, talked about the kids, travelled and spend holidays together etc).
Taken all that – I am much more liberal than him. I had 3 sexual partners and really enjoy sex. I have always had amazing sex life. Like to try things out. We have been in one position (me on top) for the whole period (I have prompted gently and more directly that I need/want/ like variety and other positions). He tried it twice, didn’t feel great and we moved to same position. He says he knows this makes me feel most pleasure (against my words: I know how all this sounds trust me). He sort of assumes this is what will make me feel good.
The main point is – I go down, gladly, on him all the time. I enjoy it a lot and let him know. He touched me down there twice I think? Always with my prompting. Telling him I like it a lot. He does it for 10-15 seconds and tells me to get on top. He has never offered to go down on me, I literary had to tell him I need more foreplay. He tries. He awkwardly touches my body for few minutes before. Then he focuses on his pee pee (for the lack of better word to not break community guidelines). He talks dirtly but now mainly about his pee pee.
He tells me it’s because he is shy. Maybe he is on spectrum I don’t know.
All the men I have been with before eagerly wanted to touch me and go down on me. As I am liveral I have dated liberal men in the past. He is my first conservative. I know I am clean and have no odor problems. I can come (many times really), he always comes but assures me that he wants me to come and always asks/is very happy when I do. I have told him I need more than just his pee pee to come. Also I like my sex exciting (this is not exciting, or playful). Tbh it is not just sex – now looking back – lack of caress, kisses and more of physical contact is normal. He just doesn’t approach me really. Occasional hugs when we watch sth together. And very rare kisses. So I assumed he is maybe less sexual of a person (which is absolutely fine), but the sex imbalance and me servicing him (for the lack of better word) shows me that maybe this is not the case?
Thank you so much for any insight, I am confused as to whether this situation is normal.
You might ask what brought us together – we are quite serious about meeting people, no situationship sort of style. He seemed kind and loyal. No nonsense type of person.
TLDR: my partner (40M) does not touch me down there or go gown on me (33F) during sex for the whole duration of our relationship but I do that for him. He is a conservative(ish) male.