Men over 100, what would you tell your 97 year old self?
September 12, 2025
Men over 100, what would you tell your 97 year old self?
36 comments
It gets better.
Lol 🦗
Don’t give up trying to lose your virginity!
Don’t be afraid to have that bacon extra greasy
Learn how to use the internet so that you can actually answer this question for real when I’m 100.
Id tell him, bro exactly one year from now you’re gonna think its a grand idea to splint your wiener with elastics to an ice cream stick so you can get jiggy with joybell down at the bowls club.
Whatever you do, dont use the little red elastic, we lost our pecker to cut off circulation
Go on then, a bit of heroin won’t hurt!
Bro, you made it.
Change the will
I got 99 problems but this bish ain’t one
I will answer this seriously, demand that beer with your grandkids. Don’t just suggest it and smuggle it if you have to
Don’t bother
Don’t rush into anything, learn to know yourself.
100 is the new 95.
“why are you doing this?”
REMEMBER THE ALAMO
Incoherent noises
[removed]
Here are the winning lottery numbers….
take the heroin…it’s everything they said it was and more!
Rofl
My great uncle is 102. Although alot of it is down to genetics, I’m sure he’d say to just keep yourself busy, he still drives, routinely has fish and chips on a Friday, loves his date scones. The mental fortitude appears to be a huge factor.
Do even more coke, bang even more strippers.
Date that young 75 year old chicka
Don’t be afraid to hit up the 110 year old hotties.
Smoke cigarettes. It helps mitigate Alzheimer’s.
RemindMe! 55 years
Don’t die yet, you still have 3 years
If the female likes you when you and shes drunk. She might be 1 of 5 things, dumb, a hoe, drunk, a gold digger or a saint, good luck finding out which is which.
Testicles hang so low now, shorts are no longer an option
Once you get over the third stroke it’s smooth sailing.
Appreciate the little things in life; your one good eye, being able to lift 1 oz, and the fact that your pulse is within normal rhythmic range.
100 is the new 80
Have more sex.
Get a decent data plan
Just keep putting stuff off until tomorrow, you have plenty of time.
Don’t sell that fucking amulet! Turns out people don’t actually keep a one pound chunk of gold and garnets as a family heirloom for generations.
They just pry off the rocks and sell it for melt value, and now you’re aging again like an absolute chump!
“Oh, it doesn’t matter if it’s actually in my possession! I’ll just sell if off to get a nice chunk of change and to mislead my many enemies!”
Idiocy. I should have just thrown it in the ocean like I had planned from the start.
“10 Phylactery life hacks that’ll Blow your mind!”? More like “10 Phylactery life hacks that’ll fuck you straight up the arse!”
I don’t have a 100 story.
My father in law is 87. A couple of years ago we asked him if he wanted to go to Jordan with us. Petra, Wadi Rum, River Jordan. He said no, no, no he was too old. A few months ago he had a fall, was hospitalised, really poorly. When he was recuperating he said ‘I could have gone, but now I never will’.
The credo I’ve developed over the past 10 years (I’m 57), is go and do it NOW if you can. You then get the memory dividend. You can remember it and talk about it when you are holed up in Springfield retirement home.
Good book called ‘die with nothing’. Worth a read. Don’t be the richest corpse in the graveyard.
36 comments
It gets better.
Lol 🦗
Don’t give up trying to lose your virginity!
Don’t be afraid to have that bacon extra greasy
Learn how to use the internet so that you can actually answer this question for real when I’m 100.
Id tell him, bro exactly one year from now you’re gonna think its a grand idea to splint your wiener with elastics to an ice cream stick so you can get jiggy with joybell down at the bowls club.
Whatever you do, dont use the little red elastic, we lost our pecker to cut off circulation
Go on then, a bit of heroin won’t hurt!
Bro, you made it.
Change the will
I got 99 problems but this bish ain’t one
I will answer this seriously, demand that beer with your grandkids. Don’t just suggest it and smuggle it if you have to
Don’t bother
Don’t rush into anything, learn to know yourself.
100 is the new 95.
“why are you doing this?”
REMEMBER THE ALAMO
Incoherent noises
[removed]
Here are the winning lottery numbers….
take the heroin…it’s everything they said it was and more!
Rofl
My great uncle is 102. Although alot of it is down to genetics, I’m sure he’d say to just keep yourself busy, he still drives, routinely has fish and chips on a Friday, loves his date scones. The mental fortitude appears to be a huge factor.
Do even more coke, bang even more strippers.
Date that young 75 year old chicka
Don’t be afraid to hit up the 110 year old hotties.
Smoke cigarettes. It helps mitigate Alzheimer’s.
RemindMe! 55 years
Don’t die yet, you still have 3 years
If the female likes you when you and shes drunk. She might be 1 of 5 things, dumb, a hoe, drunk, a gold digger or a saint, good luck finding out which is which.
Testicles hang so low now, shorts are no longer an option
Once you get over the third stroke it’s smooth sailing.
Appreciate the little things in life; your one good eye, being able to lift 1 oz, and the fact that your pulse is within normal rhythmic range.
100 is the new 80
Have more sex.
Get a decent data plan
Just keep putting stuff off until tomorrow, you have plenty of time.
Don’t sell that fucking amulet! Turns out people don’t actually keep a one pound chunk of gold and garnets as a family heirloom for generations.
They just pry off the rocks and sell it for melt value, and now you’re aging again like an absolute chump!
“Oh, it doesn’t matter if it’s actually in my possession! I’ll just sell if off to get a nice chunk of change and to mislead my many enemies!”
Idiocy. I should have just thrown it in the ocean like I had planned from the start.
“10 Phylactery life hacks that’ll Blow your mind!”? More like “10 Phylactery life hacks that’ll fuck you straight up the arse!”
I don’t have a 100 story.
My father in law is 87. A couple of years ago we asked him if he wanted to go to Jordan with us. Petra, Wadi Rum, River Jordan. He said no, no, no he was too old. A few months ago he had a fall, was hospitalised, really poorly. When he was recuperating he said ‘I could have gone, but now I never will’.
The credo I’ve developed over the past 10 years (I’m 57), is go and do it NOW if you can. You then get the memory dividend. You can remember it and talk about it when you are holed up in Springfield retirement home.
Good book called ‘die with nothing’. Worth a read. Don’t be the richest corpse in the graveyard.
Get Betty White’s number.