i’ve been struggling to make friends a lot this year and i’m starting to feel like there’s things i may not understand or if i’m not doing something right. i recently moved and i’ve been trying to show up more as my authentic self in friendships and relationships, since i feel like most of my “friends” have been based on proximity, so I felt used 99% of the time (whether that was for money, being a shoulder to lean on, or whatever the case may be) or had toxic friendships. but i feel like every time i’ve tried to make friends, people will try to be friends with me because i’m attractive and a bit eccentric, but whenever i try to ask about their lives, hobbies, shared things, and eventually try to ask to hangout, it usually leads to my messages being left on read/delivered and then we never speak again. I did hangout with someone for a few months, but she would do and say things to signify she didn’t really like me all that much, like making negative comments whenever I received compliments or loudly announcing that I was broke in the middle of busy store (I had just paid all of my bills and I didn’t want to spend more money than I had).
i try not to take it personally, but it is starting to really impact me. especially because my “best friend” got eloped and didn’t even tell me about it (she did invite her new best friend) although I was financially and emotionally supporting her last year while she was going through an intense rough patch.
is there any way I can do things differently? Are there any strategies that I can use to pick suitable friend? i really would love to have a community or even just a few friends. i’m pretty introverted, but i do try to put myself out there.