Essentially title. I was super social my first semester of college, but a couple of bad rejections turned into bad moments on my part and the destruction of my friend group becasue I asked for how to be social advice (its a long, long story), I ended up staying locked in my dorm room for about a year.
Now I'm trying to make the most of my last semester at college but I keep encountering this problem. I seem to just mentally auto reject people before I even try to make friends. I put a shit ton of pressure on myself to make friends, which I know is hampering my social skills by trying to be someone I'm not and being awkward., but I just seem to say to myself "oh, they woulnd't want to talk anyway" and leaving in my classes and clubs. I often also don't really konw what to say in conversations because I don't want to be weird so I end up just being silent. I essentially reject myself for people so they don't have to
My point is, how do I stop myself from auto rejecting people for them (and I guess to a lesser extent, carry a conversation?) I've been self improving for a long time and I genuinely want to be a better, social, fun person. I don't know, any advice?