I’m 33, but I look like I’m 13. I still have a chubby face, stubborn belly fat, random acne breakouts, and I have a hard time gaining muscle and losing weight. I feel like I don’t look as “masculine” as I should at my age. Are there others like me out there? And what have you done to combat this feeling? I’ve considered asking for my testosterone levels to be checked.


11 comments

  1. I don’t feel the same, but I’m thinking a dietitian might help you more than getting your testosterone levels checked

  3. Getting your T levels checked out is a good idea.

    But I would suggest that you also look at WHAT you are eating. I would suggest that you eliminate processed foods and sugar from your diet and begin to practice portions control. That is, eating in small amounts of food and stopping eating when you are full, not when your plate is empty. Endeavour, most of the time to eat foods made with single ingredients. If you are making a pasta sauce and are including tomatoes, and there was a label on the tomatoes, it would say “contains : tomato

    remember that, if you are in America, that the rest of the world considers what you call “bread” to be “cake” it has so much sugar in it. All the processed foods have unhealthy levels of sugar and salt in them, plus a lot of things from a beaker that are there to help the “food” stay on the shelf for a long time, not for your health. And many of these “food shaped objects” contain chemicals that have known negative health effects and are banned in other countries.

    I would also recommend that you join a martial arts school. You will feel more confident when you know that you can defend yourself. But it is also a good way to get fit in a supportive environment. A good school will recognise where you are at, and be constantly encouraging you to go to the next level, rather than making you feel bad for not being there already. If you attend a school and are made to feel bad about yourself, it is a toxic culture and you should go somewhere else.

  4. Look up Jeff Nippard on youtube. He has breaks down everything about a good lifting routine and common mistakes. Some good nutrition stuff in there too. Small consistent improvement can do a lot for basically everyone.

  5. Baby face here. People clock me as early twenties and I’m 33. It’s become a cheat code to staying youthful. Its awesome. Growing facial hair is one way I can make myself feel more masculine and older. Being physically capable is another big one. Beiing not overweight but not terrible skinny (athletic bills to strong man) is part of it

    Also tragedy and trauma lol. You are a loose cannon “tough guy” in your 20s and then tough but also self aware guy in your 30s. I don’t recommend trying tragedy and trauma, but I feel capable in tough situations and that’s a big part of my identity as a man.

    Try community service. Sounds crazy. I coach youth sports. Become a community leader who’s well liked and respected. Meetings with the city and stuff. I would never brag about it like accomplishmets, but it does make me feel like a man.

    You got this. Don’t let anyone define who you are. You are in control on your narrative, and to a big extent, how you are precived. Funny enough once you control your own narrative the preception of others matters less. Cheers bro.

  7. Try:

    – bloodwork for any deficiencies. You might have a magnesium or vitamin A deficiency or something.
    – Eat 1.5g/kg protein. beef, eggs, fish, Greek yogurt, milk, avocados, bell peppers, 3-4oz beef liver once a week or so.
    – heavy compound lifts. Deadlifts, pull ups, presses
    – sprint. Atomic speed workout
    – minimal processed food
    – get more sunlight. Vitamin D
    – socialize a little more every day
    – do things that make you happy and alive. Hike, play basketball, fish, bike, whatever
    – sleep 8hrs and take naps

    Budget 8hrs a week on this process if you care a lot about it.

  9. Yeah, check out a condition called Klinefelters, where if you have it, understand masculinising hormone therapy may be available to you.

  11. If it makes you feel any better you’re not the only one. Genetics are what they are. I do recommend working out though. You might not be able to do anything about your face but it helps psychologically to work on your body and put on some muscle. Also skin issues can come from many things, so I recommend looking through options. Change your clothes regularly, shower but be mindful about the shower gels and shampoos in case they cause problems. Use skin care products, and if nothing works go to a doctor. And try not to be too hard on yourself. We don’t need to fit a mold, ideal or a stereotype, it’s enough to feel comfortable in our own skin.

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