Hello,
I never expected to write something like this but here we are.
Im a sophmore at a small school and I want to be better.
At my school, we have this journalism publication which I am on but I don't feel respected by anyone there. I feel left out, almost like I am a ghost there. This feeling goes for the entire school either. During lunches and breaks, I often sit by myself in the small library in the school, either doing work or reading a book that I was somehow interested in.
I wouldn't say I have no friends however, because I am either chill or friends with most people in my school. I just don't belong to any social cliques or friend groups. I saw on tiktok that I am called a "floater friend", however there is a term for everything there and I don't really trust the ideas of a 17 year old teenager on what to call my social situations.
Another thing to note is that I have ADHD. With my ADHD, I can become pretty hyperactive along with impulsivity. People often see me as an "annoying little brother", and with those characteristics put on me, people tend to not want to talk to me. People do talk to me, but not as a friend but more in a little brother way.
I get really anxious during the day, thinking people are judging me for everything that I do. The girls that sit across to me in math think I'm odd and laugh at me for doing basically nothing. I don't know if I'm being sensitive at all, however it's just annoying.
The whole point of this blog is to basically ask, how can I just be a better person? How can I make it so that people like me and want to hang out with me, not as a classmate but more as a friend.
I want to be someone, and be sort of recognized for my accomplishments instead of just being given a pat on the back and moved on from. I'm an insanely talented writer and a really good photographer, (having my own sports photography page and having my work featured by multiple local athletes).
I just want respect really, if anyone can give me any pointers on how to be a better person, or send me any youtube video links, or even give me a book to read I'd be appreciative. If you have any more questions to further clarify my situation, let me know.
Also sorry if this was hard to read, I'm not the best at writing (or in this case typing) my feelings.
Thanks
-devron42
p.s. ( this was copy and pasted from r/selfhelp)