I understand this can affect both genders both ways but I’m a woman dating men so asking from my perspective.

Early stages of dating a guy, we are not exclusive only been on a couple dates. Been going really well. But he is actively following new women on Instagram. Nothing provocative just clearly meeting other girls out or on dating apps. Would this make you want to write the guy off?

I don’t think there’s anything wrong w dating others because we aren’t exclusive but could this be an early sign that he’s not serious about continuing what we have and is continuing to look for better options or would you say this is normal?

I honestly don’t operate like this with dating so maybe it’s a me issue, trying to gauge opinions


16 comments

  1. I guess for most people it depends whether or not you established exclusivity but if it bothers you and you prefer a guy that would make you the only option from the beginning, that’s valid too.

  2. Why not continue to date him anyway? What do you have to lose? If he wants more than dates, then ask him what is up with his socials and dating life.

  3. a lot of people are stuck in the mindset of the next best match/person is just another swipe away, dating apps have cooked peoples brains

    if i have genuine engagement with a girl that appears to be going in a positive direction i stop looking, if it doesnt work out then ill start the process again

  4. I dont fuck with guys who broadcast their thirstiness to the world (thats “what im for”🙄 allegedly)

    Anyway, you shouldn’t either. 10/10 you’ll end up disillusioned and not in a good way

  5. Dating now a days is literally a job search. Even if we find someone, we’re on probation for a year. Anything less than 1 year, theres still a chance that we’d get ghosted.

  6. I’m not sure how old you are, I’m 34F I don’t follow people I date on socials and my life is too full to be checking a dudes following count to see that it went up or down so none of this would matter. My socials are locked down and I don’t even look at dudes instagrams or ask for them. If someone asks for mine we aren’t compatible.

  7. You’ve answered your own question..if you want him stop, put the pressure on him and ask him to go exclusive.

    His reaction will show you the person he is. Don’t become a number.

    Is it normal? I don’t use the apps, so I can’t answer that.

  8. Communication is key. If you want exclusivity ask for it if he declines, you aren’t compatible.

    Assume nothing, be up front, ask for what you want and expect. It will help rule out incompatible partners faster.

  9. If you haven’t talked about exclusivity then there’s no expectation of exclusivity.

    I think a man following too many women is a red flag, though. But that’s just me.

  10. I’m a woman. There is no reason I would notice this. I think the issue is that you’re paying too much attention and you’ll only hurt yourself in the end. 

    I would understand if he follows hundreds of half naked IG models, but you have to be paying too much attention to his IG to notice him following other women. 

    This is a sign you’re a bit too anxious, and I would look within yourself about this.

  11. Girl run RUN!!!! Those men are most likely porn addicts and so far gone, have developed ED and can’t function properly in a relationship. Just run trust me!!

  12. Im in a point in life where I rather be single than with someone that does things I dont like. So if I learnt that a man I was dating did that, I would just break things off and go find someone else.

    So I would first suggest asking yourself:

    Do I want to date someone who does this?

    Do I want to date someone I had to ask to stop doing this?

    If you are ok with it. Voice your concern. But dont try and change someone who isnt gladly willing.

  13. Unless you’ve had some exclusivity talk I would say this is normal behavior for a person.

  14. How interested is he if he’s entertaining other options. Seems like place holder type situation. Like you’re ok but I’m already looking for something else

  15. How do you know who these women are? Maybe they are dodgy but based on what you’ve said so far, he could just be meeting new people platonically.

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