I recently moved to a new city and have been going to Timeleft dinners (an app where you have dinner with strangers for those who don't know) to meet people. At one of them, I clicked with someone, and they added me on Instagram.
I messaged them a couple of weeks later suggesting we grab a drink. They agreed and we set a time. The day before, they canceled saying they weren’t feeling well, but suggested the following week. I gave them the benefit of the doubt.
We rescheduled, they confirmed the day before, but then 20 minutes before we were due to meet they texted again saying they were sick. This time, they didn’t suggest another date. I didn’t either, because I didn’t want to chase someone who probably just wasn't interested. We haven’t talked since, though they still watch/like my stories.
I’m struggling to move past this. I know flakey people exist, but when you’re new in town and don’t have many friends, it feels harder not to take it personally. I'm also new to taking the initiative with potential friendships (e.g. being the one to message first, organizing catch up etc.) so I'm way out of my comfort zone and don't really know what I'm doing.
I'm still ruminating on what happened and whether there was anything I could have done differently. Was it a bit odd to message this person a couple of weeks after meeting at dinner? Should I have followed up again with this person or just let it go? In general, how do I be proactive without chasing?