Hi everyone! Sorry for a negative post.
I'm in such a bad place mentally. I truly feel like I'm worth nothing, and that I don't mean anything to anyone. I am 36 and still going aimlessly through life. Breathing, but not living.
I have messed up so many opportunities in the past, which I can't get back (believe me, I have tried.) I just want to feel good about myself, and prove people wrong. Do you know that feeling? Just to show people what you are capable of, and that they made a mistake by not thinking your good enough. I am just so overwhelmed with my life at the moment. Where do I start to fix it?
(Context: I have a partner and wonderful parents. For some reason, I can't keep friends. I think I suffocate them too much. I do have bipolar and I am on meds. Unfortunately, since I am from South Africa, psychiatrists and psychologists are very expensive, as well as the meds, otherwise I would've tried other meds or types of therapy. I also have ADD, but can't afford the meds.)