I (24F) have been dating my boyfriend (30M) for almost a year (first date was a year ago next Sunday). His ex wife (30F) cheated on him and caused the relationship to fall apart. Things were weird when he and I started dating because even though he and his ex were separated, they weren't divorced yet and hadn't 100% decided on divorce. I know we probably should have waited for him to be over her before we started dating, but we didn't mean to get so serious so fast (and yet he told me he loved me only a month in).
Obviously they're divorced now, but I still find myself being pissed off at her. I'm mad that she hurt him, and I'm mad that he took so long to choose me (they decided to get divorced in December last year). Which again, I KNOW I was stupid to get into a relationship with a man who wasn't sure he was going to divorce yet, but there's no changing the past. The problem is I think about her too much. I even stalk her social medias on occasion, secretly hoping that her life is going shit.
He is nothing but good to me. He gets me flowers for no reason, every day we don't spend together, we spend hours on the phone, he drove me back and forth to a gig almost an hour away two weekends in a row (four times total) because I have trouble night driving, he's always there when I need him, he makes me laugh, he comforts me when I'm sad, he lets me drag him out to fairs and craft shows and concerts and whatever I want even though he's a homebody, when I wasn't doing well financially he paid for 100% of our dates and never complained (he even offered to pay my rent one month), he goes grocery shopping with me even though we don't live together, he never lets me carry something if he has a free hand, he gets me surprise coffees and other treats, he is sosososo wonderful and I want to spend my life with him, but I NEED to stop letting his ex take up so much of my mental energy.
How do I get over HIS ex???
TLDR: I spend time ruminating and being pissed about my boyfriend's ex even though we've been dating almost a year, how can I get over her?