I’m autistic, socially anxious and have only one friend who is a narcissist. Whenever I mention that I’m doing well in classes or that I’ve finally worked enough to afford something (ie a holiday or bills), she’ll immediately turn it to herself and complain about how good I have it and how she has it so much worse (although she is incredibly popular with rich parents who pay for everything). I’ll sit through her talking about her life for hours, showing pictures of all the amazing nights she’s had out with friends (that I’ve never been invited to), but as soon as I mention something good about myself, it’s all about her again.
With this being said, I want to learn how to stand up to her and other people, and earn some respect. I don’t know how to do it without being seen as hostile. In the few times I’ve tried standing up for myself, such as me not wanting to loan her money, she’ll reply with “woah man, I was just asking.”. I know that she doesn’t respect me and uses me, but I want to know how I can actually garner some respect. Any advice would be appreciated, sorry for the redundant anecdote but I thought it would be useful context 🙂
Edit: hi everyone, I went through everyone’s comments and genuinely appreciate the advice. Looking back, I should’ve seen the patterns (her old best friend cut off her years ago, but she “wasn’t at fault”). Anyways I’m gonna try recoup the money she owes me and then cut her off, being completely alone is scary but I think it might be better for me. Anyways, thanks everyone!!