Ok so my dad didn't raise me. Only mom mom did. I became a bit more feminine because of it. I'm bi. So dad came back in my life when I was around 12 years old. He has this masculine presence that just makes me so uneasy and tense. Same goes to all men. I'm genuinely uncomfortable and on the edge when I'm around other dudes. I currently don't have make friends because I can't really connect with males in addition to being scared of their masculine presence. It's pretty isolating not being able to connect with your own gender. It pisses me off.
To make it worse I'm studying Construction management which is a pretty male dominated field. I'm literally setting myself up for failure in real time lol. I don't know why I'm scared or men or how to fix it.