Hey all,
I'm 33 and a few months ago, I joined a boxing gym—not with the goal of going pro, but to get into shape, learn some self-defense, and push myself out of my comfort zone. The gym was a bit crowded and intense, and even though I was new, they had us sparring by my third class. I ended up getting paired with someone much younger, taller, and more experienced (an amateur fighter). I definitely got worked, and while it wasn’t officially scored, it felt like a loss to me.
That said, I was proud of myself for stepping into the ring when others didn’t. I learned a lot—what I was good at, and more importantly, what I needed to work on. But I decided that gym wasn’t the right fit for me and started looking elsewhere.
Eventually, I landed at an MMA gym near my apartment and fell in love with it. I’ve been training consistently for about two months now. After some great conversations with my coaches, I’ve set some goals for myself: compete in a Jiu Jitsu tournament, earn my blue belt, do a few Muay Thai smokers, and even participate in an amateur MMA fight in the next 2–3 years.
Most of the people I’ve shared this with—my partner and close friends—have been supportive and honest in their feedback. But one friend, who I’ve known for over a decade, has been weirdly negative. He makes backhanded compliments like, “Gotta eat that humble pie, but good for you for sticking it out,” and laughed when I told him my goals. He also made snide remarks like, “You know people hit back in real fights, right?” and compared me to some movie character who tries new things because they’re insecure.
I’m not looking for cheerleaders or blind praise—but the sarcasm and subtle jabs have been bothering me more than I’d like to admit. I’m not out here trying to impress anyone. I’m doing this for me, to become more disciplined, confident, and healthy. So it sucks when someone close to me seems almost annoyed that I’m pursuing something new and difficult.
Has anyone else dealt with this kind of low-key unsupportive behavior from friends? How did you handle it, especially in your 30s when your circle starts to shrink and friendships feel more “established”?
Appreciate any insight.