I’( F 28), and I’ve been with my partner (31M) for 8 years. In the early years of our relationship, he frequently asked me if I would marry him—sometimes even crying with joy when I said yes. But we both agreed to wait because we were in medical training, and settling down financially and professionally was our priority.
We also come from different religions, and in our conservative society that makes things complicated. We didn’t involve our parents until last year, when his brother told them about our living together. His mother shamed me harshly for premarital sex, and ever since, I’ve struggled to enjoy intimacy—it just feels tainted by guilt now.
Since that point, I’ve been the one asking him to move forward with marriage. But whenever I bring up signing the papers, he delays it. His reasons have ranged from being too busy with residency to wanting me to move to his country first.
Recently, I joined the same institution as him, so now we have the same schedule and live in the same city again. I’ve asked him repeatedly to go with me and register our marriage, but he insists he wants to “propose properly” before we do that. The issue is, he has no real plan to propose.
I’m starting to wonder if he actually intends to marry me. On one hand, he’s a genuinely kind and affectionate partner: very loving, attentive, supportive, and (as far as I know) faithful. On the other hand, I don’t want to waste years of my life waiting for a commitment that may never come.
TLDR: boyfriend of 8 years postponing getting married. Should I wait?