I just wanna disappear and give up. This girl she was 25 and I was 27 we met online and we started playing games and hanging out. She just wanted to be friends at that time but I had a crush on her and told her that I wanted something more cause I think of her as special and want to be there for her. There was times she told me what was going on in her life like financial problem or just other problems in general and I was always there to help her and do what I could. I stood by her side and was always there for her at her lowest and she was grateful for that I was always by her side. Over a couple of months we started going out more and just holding hands or do a little physical touch when we stay in and just be together. She pointed out some stuff she didn’t like about me and I told her I would change, I try to spoil her for on time to time and just surprise her a little. She knew that I wanted to be more than just friends and she said she would give me a chance cuz I’m not the usual type of guy she goes for. This was the best thing to happen to me until I fucked up, I kinda went back to my old habits like taking forever to answer, and not being straight forward which cause her to be mad cuz I asked her to go out and by the time I answer it was already late. She told me to leave her alone and said I missed my chance with her and I think she is dating someone else now or went back to her ex and I’m just sitting here how I fucked up the best thing to happen to me, the pain is unbearable knowing that I messed it all up. What do I do? I can’t shake this feeling and I can’t let go cuz I’m always thinking of the times we spent together. I plan on getting her the necklace she likes and just leave it on that, I ordered it long time ago for her and was supposed to to surprise her in her bday when we spent time together alone. I’m a Pisces, it’s hard for me to let go of someone I like or love even if it ends of hurting me.
TLDR: I missed my chance with this girl I have feelings for and when she told me that I missed my chance to be with her my heart just sank and in deep pain. I can’t seem to let go of her even if it’s hurting me and I keep thinking about all the times we spent together.