Every couple I know who met then and is still going strong I’m lowkey kinda jealous of. Now in my late mid 20s a lot of them are engaged, married, or heavily discussing. They also have a lot of shared experiences heading into the adult world, root for the same college football team, I’ve noticed they agree easier on where they want to raise kids.

It’s just so much harder after college


44 comments

  1. I’ve always thought this. If I wasn’t so clueless in college I definitely would’ve been married by now😩

  2. I just want to share this with you:

    No, you don’t want that. That’s what I did. I had my first ever girlfriend in college. Despite there being some pretty big differences between us, we stayed together and I tried my best to keep the relationship going. We eventually got married when I was like 25/26, and then we got divorced before being together for a year.

    That relationship was awful. I’m sure there are people who have positive experiences meeting the love of their life in college, but I sure as hell didn’t. A college relationship like that is something that people really tent to romanticize. And yes, people thought the same thing about my relationship.

  3. I cannot imagine not having had the dating experiences I did in my 20s and 30s. I feel badly for people who get married young.

  4. I feel this HARD at 37.

    I woulda picked the wrong person though. I do wish I took finding a partner more seriously when I was in my 20s, I thought it would just magically happen. You still have time, use it wisely 🙂

  5. I’ve always wished this. It just seems like things are so much easier for people who had that and things just “work out” for them. To me that was just how it was supposed to go and I’ve been so disappointed in myself for not figuring out how to make it happen.

  6. Same here! I’m in my mid-late 30’s and dated complete jerks in my 20’s throughout college, and grad school. They were guys I met at my crappy part time jobs and a guy from my high school. I wish I would’ve gone for someone actually worth my time. It just gets harder the older I get.

  7. I could have dated my college best friend but I just never felt that way about him, I often think about how that would have changed our friendship since we are still very close

  8. I really missed the stage where you both have feelings for each other but are too scared to let the person know, and seeing each other every day in that stage. It is so fun. Dating apps just feel too “aggressive” to me that this stage is skipped entirely

  10. I met my ex-wife in college. We were together for 10 years and I spent most of our relationship and marriage thinking we would be together forever. I am honestly kinda glad because I feel like that’s what it took for me to really start trying to understand myself and what I wanted/needed. It’s still a work in progress but I’m happier now

  11. Girl (gender neutral) no you do not! There are tons of people to meet. And the people who are married in their mid 20s are likely going to divorce, take it from me I’m 34 drowning in divorced men

  13. Just wait a few years. A lot of them will be divorced. It happened to me and a lot of my friends around our late 20’s/early 30’s. People change a lot after college and when they start to progress in their careers. It’s far better to meet someone at the age you are now.

  14. Im a virgin at 27. I fucking hate my parents for telling me to not look and it will be fine when older.

    I wish i dated hard during college, I didn’t realise thats when everyone was horny and available whereas now everyone is busy and unavailable. I have no fucking chance.

  15. I wish I had as well, but the two men I loved in college would have ended in divorce for me. We would’ve grown apart. Have a few friends who’ve been going through it in the past few years. People grow and change over time and it’s not always together and sometimes apart.

  16. It sucks though because at least where I went to school most people didn’t want serious relationships/dating, hookup culture was the standard.

  17. Everyone is on their own unique journey. Someday something might happen to make you suddenly feel grateful for the path you’ve been on, instead of lamenting it. 🥰

  18. 61M. I respectfully disagree. For some people, it works well finding their spouse early in life, but others don’t want to settle down till later in life. We needed time for adventures before settling down with kids and a big mortgage. It all depends on one’s individual needs and desires, so there is no rule for everyone. We are all unique humans.

  19. I’m 26, and at this point I wish I had even a terrible relationship just so I know what being in a relationship is like.

    College was the last time I regularly talked with other people my age. Unfortunately, I was one of the few students who didn’t live on-campus. Nobody wanted to even be my friend because I lived 2 hours away, so I needed at least a few hours’ notice to be able to get anywhere on time. Also, I always had to leave parties/events extremely early, sometimes when they were just getting started.

    I’ve always been way above average in my career, so the youngest person I’ve ever worked with was 8 years older than me and she was married and had a kid. Every person I interact with at work these days is 35+, is married, and has kids. There’s nobody for me to meet. Changing jobs hasn’t helped me either.

  20. I met the one. I married her. Had 20 amazing years together. She deveveloped a meth addiction, and well, “other friends”. Divorce finally came through. What i’m trying to say is, no one has it easy. I feel like i’ve lived a lifetime, and i’m ready for the big sleep. Not that i’m depressed. But it just feels like i’m 70 years old when i’m not even 50.

  21. I have no regrets about not finding someone in college. From people I know who dated since high school, to people who dated since college, even since grade school, they are either divorced, separated, thinking about divorcing or unfortunately admitting to close friends/family they are unhappy or wanting to leave. The strongest relationship I knew about that were together since college one out of the two admitted to me how hard it is especially when caring for their kids and that as much as they love their partner, who is to say what the future holds. Sad. It breaks my heart for all of them but in a way I can see that happening. I was in long term relationships when I was younger (I am 38 now), the longest one in high school through college and I would to say “holy crap if I ended up with him” who is to say I might be regretting it now? I guess with some good and bad experience it makes you think. With that said, the grass isn’t always greener (And I am sooo soooo happy for all my loved ones who are still with their college boo or boo they found in their early 20s!!!) but for me I just don’t feel as sad as I did before. If it happens it happens YAY and if it doesn’t then lol oh well. Yours will come in due time. 🙂

  23. I met the one in college…. And now we are divorced. Do what you will with that information.

  25. Yeah dating sucks after college tbh lol but you’ll be fine, just gotta put yourself out there

  27. I feel ya bud, pasting my post
    its just so easy to ghost someone now a days especially when there’s no mutual people, place or a connection

    this relates to the post someone made about they wish they had met someone during college.
    Now a days if you meet someone from dating apps or randomly in person, communication will totally stop when one person decides to, and chances of running them into are slim to none.
    Contrary to meeting someone in school, college or even work, atleast you run into that person, you don’t have find a time to hangout, you still get to know the person.

  29. I don’t, I was too immature in my early 20s to discern who would be marriage material. I did have long term relationships but I’m grateful I didn’t marry any of them.

    In my mid 20s I feel way more prepared to choose wisely who I commit to, by my late 20s I’ll be even more sure of what I want.

  30. Yeah I feel the same tbh. Feels like everyone who met in college is way ahead in life. But honestly, better to meet the right one later than force it early and regret it

  31. being shy when it came to dating in college i was shy most of my life but college I got more shy for some reason

  32. Your still so young at 20 years old you still have great chances in life to met the person wishing u luck

  33. OP, I certainly don’t. The amount I explored life and had the freedom to work abroad and meet different people would absolutely not have happened had I stayed with my college boyfriend. And I wouldn’t have met my true partner later on. In fact the thought that I could’ve done, terrifies me.

    Life does not end at college. That kind of thinking will keep you stuck. If that nostalgia is the only thing you genuinely want, then get involved with alumni events and maybe reconnect with an old flame or crush.

  34. I don’t, girls at my high school were spoiled brats and girls at my Uni were not for me. I was still maturing at those ages and most certainly not ready for a long term relationship.

  35. I used to think that too but I would probably have married a Christian and now I’m an atheist. Life would have turned out really differently. We are all creating our own tapestry each day.

  37. I totally agree with this post. Im in my mid twenties and its just hard to find someone that you can connect with on a deep level. I feel like Ive wasted my precious time and failed at finding the right person for me.

  38. God no, I met my husband when we were both 32 and he was so worth waiting for. If I had married any of the guys I dated before I’d be miserable and probably divorced.

  39. I feel this. I missed out on any kind of young love, in high school I had a really negative experience with a girl and in college I didn’t meet anyone. I didn’t end up graduating either. My life has gotten complicated since then as I’m very behind what most adults would consider a standard adult life, and I worry my situation will put off any woman from being interested in me.

    I figured apps are my only option as I don’t have many opportunities to meet people organically but I’ve heard so many people talk about their bad experiences that it makes me nervous. To be almost 29 with no experience I feel will make it harder.

  40. Im pretty sure the stats are that if your 30 thats the best chance of getting a sucessful marriage.

  41. I’m 31 and single. sometimes it gets lonely and I wish I had met someone when I was in college so that I don’t have to be going through this but honestly, I was an idiot back then. The people I selected in my 20s were definitely not the people that were a good match for me. I am wiser now and able to vet people properly so the relationships are healthier, more selective but yes the pool is smaller.

  42. oh no not your late mid 20s, come on college was like four years ago. their journey is not yours, and the past is already written so nothing you can do about that but still plenty of time to meet the special someone.

  43. I feel you. I’m probably average looking at best, but my personality and relationship with people more than made up for that during college. It was so much easier to get to know people, on top of having those shared experiences you’re talking about.

    Nowadays, no one really bats an eye at me. Which makes it even harder to try to find someone with shared experiences, let alone shared interests.

  44. I’ve been divorced from my college sweetheart for almost 15 years. I look back and miss all the fun my friends had as singles in their 20s.

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