Growing up, a lot of us were shaped by movies, books, and fairytales about love. Then there’s social media, where couples seem so in love, so happy, so respectful, like they never fight or they fight in the healthiest way possible.
Even on Reddit, I often see people talk about finding their “almost perfect” partner or saying “it exists guys!!!”. Someone who checks all the boxes, makes them feel loved, respected, cared for, and seems like everything they could have asked for and more.
And it makes me wonder… how real is all of this? Where’s the line between reality, fantasy, and people just sharing the best version of their relationship? Are there couples who are really that close to perfect, or is it always more complicated behind the scenes?
I’m not trying to be a pessimist, but these questions honestly make dating confusing for me. I don’t always know if my expectations of love are realistic, or if I’m waiting for something that doesn’t actually exist. This makes it particularly difficult when trying to determine whether someone I’m dating is “good enough” or if there could be someone out there who’s more aligned and I’m settling for something that just passes, but isn’t exactly extraordinary or what others have claimed to have found which is the “near perfect”. Yes, I know there’s technically always out there who could be better looking, make more money, be more naturally aligned… but I don’t want to be looking for the rest of my life.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed being single and love the peace and solidarity that I’ve found. I love my own company and have fallen in love with the person in the mirror and it feels GREAT. I don’t need a partner to be happy. I’m also very big on self improvement and love working towards bigger goals. While I love that about myself, when it’s coupled with questions about where the fine line between reality and fantasy is, it’s confusing as hell. I hope what I’m saying makes sense…
Has anyone else felt this way? How do you personally figure out what’s realistic in a relationship versus what’s just a fantasy or highlight reel? I’d really love to hear your stories and perspectives.
1 comment
In teens and 20s….following all the movies, it feels like fantasy is the reality. When in initial years of dating and also getting married….still it feels like fantasy is so real….
In my case, after a few years, the constant ranting started, and that faded all the love. Things got really tough, and all the feelings died.
Here I am at the age of 45, thinking, why did I even think that what happened in all those movies was actually possible in reality.
I still have hopes, though, and want to restart and find someone to make all those love fantasies come through….only to see that it’s extremely difficult to find someone open-minded and non judgemental about your past. So again, it may just be a fantasy I am talking about and may not be really something that happens in reality.