Hey all, I was wondering if anyone has went through what i am going through currently. Basically I need alcohol to socialize and "like people". But I dont need perse for confidence. I consider myself a confident person already in the sense that I am not afraid to go after what I want and talk to who I want to. In fact, I didnt even start drinking until 25 yrs. Before that I would tell people no and even go to bars sober.
I only started to drink because I just wanted to figure out all the hype and try some the delicious looking cocktails lol. Overall I dont really go out often and even when i get a drink, i rarely drink to get drunk. With that being said, I noticed something about alcohol that really helps me.
I cannot be happy and social without it. For example, when I am at a bar, I naturally dont really find most people there interesting. As a result, I am naturally quiet. So I have been single pretty much all my life. However, with alcohol now that joke is funny. And I get super excited to have fun with everyone.
This version me is more attractive but it also has a downside. I noticed it either pushes people closer to me or away. I have lost some friends due this side but gain different types of friends.
However, sober me doesnt really care about it. Often times, the next day I am always ashamed and go back to not finding that stuff interesting. And then I find myself apologizing to my other friends.
So i know for some alcohol is a great social lubricate and gives liquid courage. For me, it doesnt really give me confidence but it changes my wiring almost. Like I like things I normally dont. But the trade up is that I am more socially cool to party people. The only think I like is that i wish while sober I found more people cooler to talk to. I do like people alot but i dont understand while sober i find it a chore to carry convos.
So im curious what is going on?