Back when I was a teenager, a very outgoing family member told me that social skills are an important life skill, and developing them isn’t something to take lightly. For the longest time, I tried to “fix” my awkwardness. I always felt pressure to be more confident and polished, but that just made things worse.
What actually helped?
A few years ago I decided to pursue something that I was passionate about by making my first short film. I had to collaborate with and lead the cast and crew. My goal wasn’t to “be less awkward”..it was to bring my vision to life. I was so focused on what I was creating that I didn’t have time to care about how others viewed me.
You’ve probably heard the advice “Don’t care about what others think of you”. For me, it wasn’t something I could just “fix”…I accomplished it by focusing all my thoughts and energy on something I was passionate about. Developing social skills was never the goal, but they came as a side effect of working with others on something meaningful.
When I was a teenager I wished I could be extroverted. But looking back, I’m glad my wish never came true. I’ve learned to lean into my awkwardness and see it as a strength.
That same awkward kid just released his second feature film earlier this year. Not by fixing himself, but by following what he loved. It’s not mainstream at all. It’s a bit weird and offbeat, just like me. But I’ve found there are a lot of people out there who appreciate that kind of thing.
I may still suck at small talk with new people, but I’m happy, grateful, doing what I love, and surrounded by meaningful relationships. And I’m proud to call myself socially awkward with very subpar social skills.
I hope that sharing my perspective helps at least one person reading this!