I think this is something I subconsciously picked up from my aunt as a kid because she was kinda my only example of how to socialize (I had really bad social anxiety growing up, I don't really as much anymore, I am self-conscious about how I talk though), she has social anxiety really bad and it's very obvious when she talks. She does this super high pitched tonation in her voice when she's talking to literally anyone besides her mom, it sounds super fake (not saying that as a bad thing against her or anything), but like… hearing it as an adult who has experience talking to people and stuff now, it's very obviously a fake tone that's most likely done out of nervousness because she wants to come across as friendly.
I seem to have also picked up this habit from being around her growing up, and I think it's because I hate my natural voice subconsciously, but I'm a very "be yourself, fuck what everyone else thinks" type of person. I don't like it when my voice does that in public, I sound absolutely nothing like I do when I'm around people I'm comfortable with (which I like the way I sound when I'm comfortable, I'm actually good at talking). It makes me bad at socializing because I'm constantly thinking about trying to sound like myself when I'm talking in public, but it never works. If I try to not do the high-pitched tonation, I end up going too far low and I mumble a lot. I sound closer to myself, but they can't hear me, then I don't wanna speak louder because I don't wanna be rude, and it's a whole cycle.
Sometimes I do get pretty close, but it just sounds rude because I end up saying phrases I don't really say naturally and it comes out incredibly monotone. Something like my natural "Yo bro, what's goin on?" turns into "Hi, how are ya?". I don't know why my brain has this like switch that just forces me to sound extremely professional in public or something. I either sound overly professional or performative and there's really no in-between. Sounding professional would be one thing if I was like an old man in a business suit or if I was in a job interview or something, but I'm 18 with baggy clothes and a hat that says "go fuck yourself", so it doesn't really work ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
If I could just talk like my natural self in public, I'd probably be able to have better conversations and be able to make more friends. Any advice?