How would you react if your S/O asked “would you like an expensive wedding, honeymoon or down payment on a house?”
September 2, 2025
Which one of these matters most to you?
48 comments
House, honeymoon, wedding, in that order.
Why not all three in time? Before committing to buying a house or getting married, I’d want to be in a financial situation where I was able to save up enough and afford things in time. For reference my husband and I bought a house, got married 3 years later and had a great honeymoon.
We can elope, put a NICE down payment on the house, and then do the honeymoon when/if it still makes sense.
house. hands down. Every single time
I would definitely go for the house.
The wedding just a day in my life. An important day, yes, but the wedding itself is only a few hours.
The honeymoon is probably a week or two. I’d vote for honeymoon over wedding for spending the money, but even so, once I’m back home again, it’s over.
The house is something that I’ll be living in for a long time, maybe even the rest of my life. It will be my home, my sanctuary, my refuge. I’ll be making more memories in my home than I would on my wedding day or during my honeymoon.
House and then honeymoon. A wedding is not important to me at all. It’s one day.
Well I got lucky and moved into his beautiful house. We eloped in a courthouse and took a 3 week honeymoon. We spent a week in Greece, a week in the Maldives, and a week in Thailand
So house, honeymoon, wedding can honestly fuck off for all I care
House. I don’t need a big wedding. I don’t actually even need the marriage. And we go on mini adventures often so I can forgo the honeymoon. But a house we can get older there. We can have new adventures there. We can create more memories there. If we wish we can have a family
There. So I’d take the down payment on the house
100% house! That’s what we actually did a few years ago. House in 2020, engagement 2021, wedding and honeymoon to one of our dream destinations (Japan) in 2023. Would not change a thing, I will choose house every time.
House, wedding, honeymoon.
House because practical.
Wedding because I want all my and his family and friends to be there, and if there’s anyone who can’t afford to come, I’d want to pay for them. And older family members would require some accommodations which I’d like to be able to spend on.
Honeymoon is just our first vacation together and we’ll be fucking most of the time. There’ll be many more to come.
House and Honeymoon in that order. Our wedding cost less than $1000.
Down payment on a house.
My husband and I got married at 18, we had a very, very budget friendly wedding and didn’t really have a honeymoon. We bought a house at 23 after he got out of the military. A honeymoon can happen whenever. I was fine with going to the courthouse, but my family had opinions on that, so they paid for the budget friendly wedding to happen. It was basically free, for me at least.
My boyfriend already has his own place thankfully, so I’d pick wedding over honeymoon
House, honeymoon then wedding. We had a very cheap wedding and bought a house. I’d much prefer that.
Down payment on a house is the only reasonable answer here
If you really want to get married, choose a reasonably priced wedding. You definitely want to be married first before committing to a massive financial transaction such as a house. After you two have purchased the home at a reasonable price, then go on a honeymoon.
Back then i would have been irritated. But i would have prefered a down payment on a house.
We already had a small wedding. There was no time for a honeymoon….
House. “My name will go on our deed, darling.”
That’s easy. The house. A wedding is just one day. The honeymoon is just a vacation. I prefer to invest in the marriage. We eloped in a beautiful spot and took our honeymoon about 5 years later. I think we’re ready for a 2nd honeymoon. Though.
Damn a house?! Thats something I will likely never have, so that. I do not need a super fancy day if we gonna be safe for a lifetime.
Ask him where the hell he got the money working part time and doing college. But realistically house first obvs.
I would have said wedding at the time because I was an idiot who thought the party mattered more than building wealth earlier.
All these years later we own a house so it worked out fine, but I could have been building equity years sooner instead of blowing money on flowers that died and a dress I wore once.
Your 25-year-old self thinks the wedding memories are priceless. Your older self realizes compound interest was actually priceless.
I never got a honeymoon and we eloped but we have a house with a mortgage of 1125 in ca and I think this way wins.
house please! the other two i could care less about
Average cost wedding and average cost honeymoon sounds great. I already own my house and got no plans to move.
My daughter will not get an expensive wedding. I hope she asks for the down payment on the house instead.
Honeymoon, I guess? But it wouldn’t be a destination – it would just be the financial freedom to take 3 months off work to hike the PCT.
I don’t believe in spending money on weddings and I don’t want to be a homeowner.
I’d turn it into a more nuanced financial discussion. In my mind an expensive wedding’s $50K ($35K is the average now, yikes!), downpayment’s like $30K around here, and my idea of a honeymoon’s maybe $2K-$3K.
If we’ve got $50K to spend on a wedding I’d rather spend $20K on the wedding, $3K on the honeymoon, and throw $27K into a HYSA, CD, or index funds while we wait for the local rent-vs-buy ratio to favor buying a house again.
Weddings are always expensive except when you’re getting married in court. So thats not a valid question. Honeymoons are super important imo, doesn’t matter if you were in a relationship before getting married because caring for each other as husband and wife comes in full force here hehehe. Personally speaking, all 3 things have their own importance and time in life. If you can, dont choose one over the other.
However if it comes down to being rational and objective, a house would matter more if I was thinking of starting a family soon. Otherwise you could put it on hold.
Wedding important – lots of memories
Honeymoon doesn’t have to be expensive – there are literally a lot of options
House important if starting a family.
“Yes.”
I don’t want an expensive wedding in the sense that I want anything extravagant or super fancy. I have pretty simple tastes in general. The only “extra” thing I want is a whole roast pig (the future wife is still saying no but I’m gonna convince her). It’s just still gonna be expensive no matter what because we both have huge ass families. So even with like a low to medium price per head it’s still gonna add up.
I do however actively want to ball out on a honeymoon.
And I don’t want to own property just like in general so a down payment is out of the question.
Ask him why he’s talking to me like I’m a toddler and he’s giving me options on what I’m allowed to wear that day. Then ask if we can sit down and discuss our opinions on each and figure out how to have more than one thing, or how we can do one or two of those but make it not expensive.
House. Every time. We will be building our lives there. Followed by a honeymoon. Followed by a wedding. It’s just one day, we can make equally as good wedding memories on a budget
My partner and I chose house first, we bought a house a couple years ago right after we got engaged. We are getting married next month (my parents gifted us wedding money) and going on our honeymoon to Japan!
House, honeymoon, then wedding
House, honeymoon, wedding.
I don’t want a big crazy exp wedding, I’d rather spend that money on a cool honeymoon.
House. I don’t want an expensive wedding.
Honeymoon doesn’t have to be super expensive either. I’d love to travel after getting married, but if I’m truly in love with my partner even a little shack or tent in the mountains could be super romantic.
My partner already knows that I don’t want a wedding. I want a nice honeymoon and a house.
House. Honeymoon maybe and wedding doesn’t need to be anything special.
House. Always house first. It is actually what me and my fiance are currently saving towards. First house. Then marriage (probably just eloping xD) and then honeymoon in order of importance to me
1st house, 2nd honeymoon, 3rd wedding.
When we got married, we decided to do a courthouse style wedding for < $200. No guests aside from witnesses. My husband wore a button-up shirt and nice jeans and I sewed my own wedding dress so I could have want I wanted without spending too much money.
I’ve been through this! We bought the house first, then had the wedding, then (after I got cancer and derailed everything) went on a small honeymoon a few years later.
If I had it to do all over again, I’d do it the same way. The wedding was a little expensive, 40 people in a museum venue, but it was an absolute fucking blast. We had SO MUCH FUN.
Down payment on a house.
House. I don’t give a crap about a wedding or honeymoon. Not interested in soul crushing debt over one night and a vacation.
Take the house.
Definitely house! Then honeymoon.
House!! Then have an intimate wedding in your new backyard! ☺️
House, Honeymoon and wedding can be a court wedding for all I care.
We did house down payment, small wedding of our dreams, no honeymoon. Unfortunately we can’t afford all 3 hahaha
48 comments
House, honeymoon, wedding, in that order.
Why not all three in time? Before committing to buying a house or getting married, I’d want to be in a financial situation where I was able to save up enough and afford things in time. For reference my husband and I bought a house, got married 3 years later and had a great honeymoon.
We can elope, put a NICE down payment on the house, and then do the honeymoon when/if it still makes sense.
house. hands down. Every single time
I would definitely go for the house.
The wedding just a day in my life. An important day, yes, but the wedding itself is only a few hours.
The honeymoon is probably a week or two. I’d vote for honeymoon over wedding for spending the money, but even so, once I’m back home again, it’s over.
The house is something that I’ll be living in for a long time, maybe even the rest of my life. It will be my home, my sanctuary, my refuge. I’ll be making more memories in my home than I would on my wedding day or during my honeymoon.
House and then honeymoon. A wedding is not important to me at all. It’s one day.
Well I got lucky and moved into his beautiful house. We eloped in a courthouse and took a 3 week honeymoon. We spent a week in Greece, a week in the Maldives, and a week in Thailand
So house, honeymoon, wedding can honestly fuck off for all I care
House. I don’t need a big wedding. I don’t actually even need the marriage. And we go on mini adventures often so I can forgo the honeymoon. But a house we can get older there. We can have new adventures there. We can create more memories there. If we wish we can have a family
There. So I’d take the down payment on the house
100% house! That’s what we actually did a few years ago. House in 2020, engagement 2021, wedding and honeymoon to one of our dream destinations (Japan) in 2023. Would not change a thing, I will choose house every time.
House, wedding, honeymoon.
House because practical.
Wedding because I want all my and his family and friends to be there, and if there’s anyone who can’t afford to come, I’d want to pay for them. And older family members would require some accommodations which I’d like to be able to spend on.
Honeymoon is just our first vacation together and we’ll be fucking most of the time. There’ll be many more to come.
House and Honeymoon in that order. Our wedding cost less than $1000.
Down payment on a house.
My husband and I got married at 18, we had a very, very budget friendly wedding and didn’t really have a honeymoon. We bought a house at 23 after he got out of the military. A honeymoon can happen whenever. I was fine with going to the courthouse, but my family had opinions on that, so they paid for the budget friendly wedding to happen. It was basically free, for me at least.
My boyfriend already has his own place thankfully, so I’d pick wedding over honeymoon
House, honeymoon then wedding. We had a very cheap wedding and bought a house. I’d much prefer that.
Down payment on a house is the only reasonable answer here
If you really want to get married, choose a reasonably priced wedding. You definitely want to be married first before committing to a massive financial transaction such as a house. After you two have purchased the home at a reasonable price, then go on a honeymoon.
Back then i would have been irritated. But i would have prefered a down payment on a house.
We already had a small wedding. There was no time for a honeymoon….
House. “My name will go on our deed, darling.”
That’s easy. The house. A wedding is just one day. The honeymoon is just a vacation. I prefer to invest in the marriage. We eloped in a beautiful spot and took our honeymoon about 5 years later. I think we’re ready for a 2nd honeymoon. Though.
Damn a house?! Thats something I will likely never have, so that. I do not need a super fancy day if we gonna be safe for a lifetime.
Ask him where the hell he got the money working part time and doing college. But realistically house first obvs.
I would have said wedding at the time because I was an idiot who thought the party mattered more than building wealth earlier.
All these years later we own a house so it worked out fine, but I could have been building equity years sooner instead of blowing money on flowers that died and a dress I wore once.
Your 25-year-old self thinks the wedding memories are priceless. Your older self realizes compound interest was actually priceless.
I never got a honeymoon and we eloped but we have a house with a mortgage of 1125 in ca and I think this way wins.
house please! the other two i could care less about
Average cost wedding and average cost honeymoon sounds great. I already own my house and got no plans to move.
My daughter will not get an expensive wedding. I hope she asks for the down payment on the house instead.
Honeymoon, I guess? But it wouldn’t be a destination – it would just be the financial freedom to take 3 months off work to hike the PCT.
I don’t believe in spending money on weddings and I don’t want to be a homeowner.
I’d turn it into a more nuanced financial discussion. In my mind an expensive wedding’s $50K ($35K is the average now, yikes!), downpayment’s like $30K around here, and my idea of a honeymoon’s maybe $2K-$3K.
If we’ve got $50K to spend on a wedding I’d rather spend $20K on the wedding, $3K on the honeymoon, and throw $27K into a HYSA, CD, or index funds while we wait for the local rent-vs-buy ratio to favor buying a house again.
Weddings are always expensive except when you’re getting married in court. So thats not a valid question. Honeymoons are super important imo, doesn’t matter if you were in a relationship before getting married because caring for each other as husband and wife comes in full force here hehehe. Personally speaking, all 3 things have their own importance and time in life. If you can, dont choose one over the other.
However if it comes down to being rational and objective, a house would matter more if I was thinking of starting a family soon. Otherwise you could put it on hold.
Wedding important – lots of memories
Honeymoon doesn’t have to be expensive – there are literally a lot of options
House important if starting a family.
“Yes.”
I don’t want an expensive wedding in the sense that I want anything extravagant or super fancy. I have pretty simple tastes in general. The only “extra” thing I want is a whole roast pig (the future wife is still saying no but I’m gonna convince her). It’s just still gonna be expensive no matter what because we both have huge ass families. So even with like a low to medium price per head it’s still gonna add up.
I do however actively want to ball out on a honeymoon.
And I don’t want to own property just like in general so a down payment is out of the question.
Ask him why he’s talking to me like I’m a toddler and he’s giving me options on what I’m allowed to wear that day. Then ask if we can sit down and discuss our opinions on each and figure out how to have more than one thing, or how we can do one or two of those but make it not expensive.
House. Every time. We will be building our lives there. Followed by a honeymoon. Followed by a wedding. It’s just one day, we can make equally as good wedding memories on a budget
My partner and I chose house first, we bought a house a couple years ago right after we got engaged. We are getting married next month (my parents gifted us wedding money) and going on our honeymoon to Japan!
House, honeymoon, then wedding
House, honeymoon, wedding.
I don’t want a big crazy exp wedding, I’d rather spend that money on a cool honeymoon.
House. I don’t want an expensive wedding.
Honeymoon doesn’t have to be super expensive either. I’d love to travel after getting married, but if I’m truly in love with my partner even a little shack or tent in the mountains could be super romantic.
My partner already knows that I don’t want a wedding. I want a nice honeymoon and a house.
House. Honeymoon maybe and wedding doesn’t need to be anything special.
House. Always house first. It is actually what me and my fiance are currently saving towards. First house. Then marriage (probably just eloping xD) and then honeymoon in order of importance to me
1st house, 2nd honeymoon, 3rd wedding.
When we got married, we decided to do a courthouse style wedding for < $200. No guests aside from witnesses. My husband wore a button-up shirt and nice jeans and I sewed my own wedding dress so I could have want I wanted without spending too much money.
I’ve been through this! We bought the house first, then had the wedding, then (after I got cancer and derailed everything) went on a small honeymoon a few years later.
If I had it to do all over again, I’d do it the same way. The wedding was a little expensive, 40 people in a museum venue, but it was an absolute fucking blast. We had SO MUCH FUN.
Down payment on a house.
House. I don’t give a crap about a wedding or honeymoon. Not interested in soul crushing debt over one night and a vacation.
Take the house.
Definitely house! Then honeymoon.
House!! Then have an intimate wedding in your new backyard! ☺️
House, Honeymoon and wedding can be a court wedding for all I care.
We did house down payment, small wedding of our dreams, no honeymoon. Unfortunately we can’t afford all 3 hahaha