How did you ladies deal with anger that flares up randomly?
September 1, 2025
How did you ladies deal with anger that flares up randomly?
45 comments
I go on long walks in the woods with my friends and we scream and swear it all out then get ice cream.
Shout into the void
Drink a ton of water, take a long slow walk, scream into the void if you need.
That depends on whether it’s disproportionate and unwarranted, or a sign from the universe to stand up for myself. I credit my falling oestrogen with giving me the strength and courage to finally draw a line in the sand with my husband that it was therapy for him for his anger or divorce.
If it’s unwarranted, I dance or stretch it out, or hit the gym if it’s a lingering mood.
Have a private cry. It’s very cathartic.
Chocolate
Cry alot, scream in the car.
I broke up with him.
I’m learning self hypnosis. So far it’s been pretty effective.
Birth control to put my PMDD in check
Still trying to figure that one out.
Usually a good scream in the car.
Swear
I work in customer service, so, suffer in silence.
Look for the cause, and treat it. Anger is often the other face of grief, it can mean that you feel unfulfilled in an aspect/ aspects of your life. And of course that might not be the case, it might be due to a hormonal problem for example.
I pretend I’m Taylor Swift and sing the entire Tortured Poets Department album.
But also, I go for long solo walks in the woods. I’ll also lay on my bed in child’s pose if I don’t feel like getting out. Baths (lights off with candles and music) used to be my go-to until I didn’t have a bathtub anymore.
Does happen very very rarely, not really random tho. When I am too frustrated I just let it out as in stomping a few times and talking to myself about how stupid this is. Or I cry a bit. Or both tbh. I often just „journal it out“ when the bad feeling does not subside.
I feel like as I write it down it leaves my head or at least gives my brain the permission to not keep these thoughts as they are now secured. And at the same time you allow yourself to explore what you feel and think rather than focusing on pushing the negativity away.
Joined a boxing club .
Immediately move body in some way and control breathing. I usually go outside for breath of fresh air and walk around.
Check the calendar and see if I’m PMSing. If no, then think about my stress levels, how my sleep/diet has been.
TBH usually the answer shows up there and I can give myself grace for my body/brain doing what it’s doing given the circumstances. If it’s affected someone else then there may be some additional conversation to be had.
I noticed that when I’m getting angry and snappy, it’s because I’m overwhelmed and need to separate myself from the situation.
Over the years I have found a lot of anger triggers. Some of them can seem like such small things, which is why I used to think my anger could be random.
So even if what I’m doing is important, I walk away from it for a few minutes. I get my mind off of it, drink some water or grab a snack if I can, and that always calms me down.
I scream or laugh.
A lovely combo of lamictal and zoloft.
Started HRT, the estrogen did wonders for my perimenopausal RAGE
Grounding mat
Honest anwser now: alcohol to numb the feeling. Anwser when you ask me in a couple of months; listen to rage music while taling a walk, work out, talk to people. And (cliché) work on yourself or your direct goals
I remember how many fucks I have (very close to negative anymore) and I use them sparingly. LOL. No but really. I think to myself, “will this matter in five years?” If the answer is no, I’m not going to waste my time being so mad about it.
I check my app and go ‘oh ok, it’ll start in the next 24 hours or so’.
By myself.. don’t take it on other people.. anger is not something that needs to be let out. It’s something that *will* simmer down.
I don’t really get angry like I used to, I’m now on HRT which has helped a lot with irritable emotions.. progesterone specifically. If you’re getting any symptoms of perimenopause that might be something to look into.
But when I used to get randomly angry the best thing to do was to just go to a quiet space by myself, or for a walk if I need a longer time. Breathe deeply and just try not to yell or scream or hit things. Why not do that even on your own? It’s my own thinking that when I allow myself to take out anger on anything even inanimate objects I allow that anger to take control of my body. When it doesn’t need to.
let the anger dissipate.. then after that figure out how I can deal with the problem that made me angry to begin with. Rationally try to figure out if it’s something that’s worth continuing with or if it’s something I can let go. If it’s something worth saying then that’s fine but I have to be in a good state of mind. Anger is a useful motion to have especially when you need to physically defend yourself so don’t feel bad that you actually do get angry..
But find healthy ways to let the feeling pass before you bring it on to others.
Naps always help lol or listening to loud screamo/rock/punk music
I can’t stress enough how important it is to think about a possible hormonal imbalance. Honestly, just talk to your gynecologist and get your hormone levels checked. I have PCOS, and looking back I can see the little signs were always there. But for me, the stress of starting a new job last year was the trigger, which kind of “opened the door” and let all the hidden symptoms come out in full.
Cortisol (the stress hormone) messes with both insulin and sex hormones. That can make insulin resistance worse, which is tightly connected to PCOS. And insulin resistance itself can totally mess with your moods🙃 Those sudden swings in blood sugar and insulin can make you irritable and snappy (or on the other hand really flat and apathetic).
When I finally got the diagnosis, it was such an “aha moment.” Suddenly, so many things that never made sense about me just clicked. There were a few situations (thankfully I can count them on one hand) when my mood swings got so intense that I honestly scared myself and wondered if I might have borderline personality disorder (both my psychiatrist and psychologist reassured me I didn’t meet the criteria, yay). Finding out about PCOS gave me the explanation I needed… and honestly, a bit of validation too:)
Now I’m on medication (metformin), I keep an eye on my blood sugar, and I feel like a completely different person – calm and steady. I’m still my lively, slightly wild self, just in a more stable way. And a huge step forward was quitting that stressful job😌
[removed]
Usually I go running and let the anger fuel it. It usually results in a faster pace. So I can thank the myriad of sexists and anti-semites whose opinions I encounter on a regular basis against my will for my running gains.
Weed and breath work
I write letters to politicians demanding they comply with international law
✨ Sertraline ✨
Citalopram 🙌🏻
Gangster rap with lots of cussing!
I usually put on some extreme music and do something relaxing.
Might seem like a funny juxtaposition from the outside in, but the catharsis and energy release of the intense music and the comfort and focus from the activity really work the best for me. What those activities are for you would differ likely, for me it’s going for a walk, playing retro games, drawing/painting or cooking.
That’s only if the anger’s a result of something outside my control, though, because if I can do something about it or talk to the problem directly about it, I do that. I get told I’m confrontational at times, but I’ve learned to live with it.
Taking a longgg shower and making sure I sleep well
Apathy and then media ✨ the apathy and the void settle in because nothing matters and I can’t do shit against what made me angry (my dad, politics, whatever) so I just zone out untill I can remove myself from that situation and then go watch anime or YouTube or something ✨
I don’t deal with other people’s anger; I walk away. Mine? I cry like an idiot. Anxiety for you.
Make sure I have tampons ready.
[removed]
Driving and singing helps me discharge anger… anything with movement. Walking swinging, hitting a ball…. I gotta move the energy. When people tell me to journal or meditate I want to punch them in the face.
45 comments
I go on long walks in the woods with my friends and we scream and swear it all out then get ice cream.
Shout into the void
Drink a ton of water, take a long slow walk, scream into the void if you need.
That depends on whether it’s disproportionate and unwarranted, or a sign from the universe to stand up for myself. I credit my falling oestrogen with giving me the strength and courage to finally draw a line in the sand with my husband that it was therapy for him for his anger or divorce.
If it’s unwarranted, I dance or stretch it out, or hit the gym if it’s a lingering mood.
Have a private cry. It’s very cathartic.
Chocolate
Cry alot, scream in the car.
I broke up with him.
I’m learning self hypnosis. So far it’s been pretty effective.
Birth control to put my PMDD in check
Still trying to figure that one out.
Usually a good scream in the car.
Swear
I work in customer service, so, suffer in silence.
Look for the cause, and treat it. Anger is often the other face of grief, it can mean that you feel unfulfilled in an aspect/ aspects of your life. And of course that might not be the case, it might be due to a hormonal problem for example.
I pretend I’m Taylor Swift and sing the entire Tortured Poets Department album.
But also, I go for long solo walks in the woods. I’ll also lay on my bed in child’s pose if I don’t feel like getting out. Baths (lights off with candles and music) used to be my go-to until I didn’t have a bathtub anymore.
Does happen very very rarely, not really random tho. When I am too frustrated I just let it out as in stomping a few times and talking to myself about how stupid this is. Or I cry a bit. Or both tbh. I often just „journal it out“ when the bad feeling does not subside.
I feel like as I write it down it leaves my head or at least gives my brain the permission to not keep these thoughts as they are now secured. And at the same time you allow yourself to explore what you feel and think rather than focusing on pushing the negativity away.
Joined a boxing club .
Immediately move body in some way and control breathing. I usually go outside for breath of fresh air and walk around.
Check the calendar and see if I’m PMSing. If no, then think about my stress levels, how my sleep/diet has been.
TBH usually the answer shows up there and I can give myself grace for my body/brain doing what it’s doing given the circumstances. If it’s affected someone else then there may be some additional conversation to be had.
I noticed that when I’m getting angry and snappy, it’s because I’m overwhelmed and need to separate myself from the situation.
Over the years I have found a lot of anger triggers. Some of them can seem like such small things, which is why I used to think my anger could be random.
So even if what I’m doing is important, I walk away from it for a few minutes. I get my mind off of it, drink some water or grab a snack if I can, and that always calms me down.
I scream or laugh.
A lovely combo of lamictal and zoloft.
Started HRT, the estrogen did wonders for my perimenopausal RAGE
Grounding mat
Honest anwser now: alcohol to numb the feeling. Anwser when you ask me in a couple of months; listen to rage music while taling a walk, work out, talk to people. And (cliché) work on yourself or your direct goals
I remember how many fucks I have (very close to negative anymore) and I use them sparingly. LOL. No but really. I think to myself, “will this matter in five years?” If the answer is no, I’m not going to waste my time being so mad about it.
I check my app and go ‘oh ok, it’ll start in the next 24 hours or so’.
By myself.. don’t take it on other people.. anger is not something that needs to be let out. It’s something that *will* simmer down.
I don’t really get angry like I used to, I’m now on HRT which has helped a lot with irritable emotions.. progesterone specifically. If you’re getting any symptoms of perimenopause that might be something to look into.
But when I used to get randomly angry the best thing to do was to just go to a quiet space by myself, or for a walk if I need a longer time. Breathe deeply and just try not to yell or scream or hit things. Why not do that even on your own? It’s my own thinking that when I allow myself to take out anger on anything even inanimate objects I allow that anger to take control of my body. When it doesn’t need to.
let the anger dissipate.. then after that figure out how I can deal with the problem that made me angry to begin with. Rationally try to figure out if it’s something that’s worth continuing with or if it’s something I can let go. If it’s something worth saying then that’s fine but I have to be in a good state of mind. Anger is a useful motion to have especially when you need to physically defend yourself so don’t feel bad that you actually do get angry..
But find healthy ways to let the feeling pass before you bring it on to others.
Naps always help lol or listening to loud screamo/rock/punk music
I can’t stress enough how important it is to think about a possible hormonal imbalance. Honestly, just talk to your gynecologist and get your hormone levels checked. I have PCOS, and looking back I can see the little signs were always there. But for me, the stress of starting a new job last year was the trigger, which kind of “opened the door” and let all the hidden symptoms come out in full.
Cortisol (the stress hormone) messes with both insulin and sex hormones. That can make insulin resistance worse, which is tightly connected to PCOS. And insulin resistance itself can totally mess with your moods🙃 Those sudden swings in blood sugar and insulin can make you irritable and snappy (or on the other hand really flat and apathetic).
When I finally got the diagnosis, it was such an “aha moment.” Suddenly, so many things that never made sense about me just clicked. There were a few situations (thankfully I can count them on one hand) when my mood swings got so intense that I honestly scared myself and wondered if I might have borderline personality disorder (both my psychiatrist and psychologist reassured me I didn’t meet the criteria, yay). Finding out about PCOS gave me the explanation I needed… and honestly, a bit of validation too:)
Now I’m on medication (metformin), I keep an eye on my blood sugar, and I feel like a completely different person – calm and steady. I’m still my lively, slightly wild self, just in a more stable way. And a huge step forward was quitting that stressful job😌
[removed]
Usually I go running and let the anger fuel it. It usually results in a faster pace. So I can thank the myriad of sexists and anti-semites whose opinions I encounter on a regular basis against my will for my running gains.
Weed and breath work
I write letters to politicians demanding they comply with international law
✨ Sertraline ✨
Citalopram 🙌🏻
Gangster rap with lots of cussing!
I usually put on some extreme music and do something relaxing.
Might seem like a funny juxtaposition from the outside in, but the catharsis and energy release of the intense music and the comfort and focus from the activity really work the best for me. What those activities are for you would differ likely, for me it’s going for a walk, playing retro games, drawing/painting or cooking.
That’s only if the anger’s a result of something outside my control, though, because if I can do something about it or talk to the problem directly about it, I do that. I get told I’m confrontational at times, but I’ve learned to live with it.
Taking a longgg shower and making sure I sleep well
Apathy and then media ✨ the apathy and the void settle in because nothing matters and I can’t do shit against what made me angry (my dad, politics, whatever) so I just zone out untill I can remove myself from that situation and then go watch anime or YouTube or something ✨
I don’t deal with other people’s anger; I walk away. Mine? I cry like an idiot. Anxiety for you.
Make sure I have tampons ready.
[removed]
Driving and singing helps me discharge anger… anything with movement. Walking swinging, hitting a ball…. I gotta move the energy. When people tell me to journal or meditate I want to punch them in the face.