44F BBW married for quite sometime now. I haven't felt like a woman, wife, lover in like 4yrs. I long for that sensual touch from my man that cares and loves me. I feel like I've hit this low depression lately and I keep going lower. The thoughts get darker and darker. Somedays I think of random hookups but that's just not who I am. Idk how I allowed myself to get to this point 💔