Hi Reddit,
I’m 30 years old and live in a tier-2 city in Bihar. I come from a good family background and I’m financially stable. I run a hotel business and a furniture manufacturing factory, so on paper life looks fine. But when it comes to marriage, I honestly feel stuck and hopeless.
I started losing hair early and now I have a receding hairline. Back in college, I was considered good-looking. I had a few girlfriends and I never thought I’d be in a position where finding a life partner feels like an impossible task.
The reality here is very different though. In Bihar, a government job is treated like the ultimate achievement. Families would rather marry their daughters to someone with a secure sarkari naukri, even if it’s a chaprasi, than to someone who runs his own successful business. No matter how much you earn, you are still considered less stable than a government employee.
This mindset has started to take a toll on me. I’ve even started smoking and drinking a lot more than I should. I know it’s not healthy, but I guess it’s my way of coping with the constant pressure and rejection. It feels like nothing I do will ever be enough. Add partial baldness to that, and I keep asking myself if I’m even dateable anymore.
I’m not looking for pity. I just want honest opinions. Should I lower my expectations? Should I try looking outside Bihar for someone who values stability and ambition over status? Or is this just how tough it is for guys like me in traditional setups?
If you’ve ever been in a similar situation or seen someone go through this, I’d really appreciate your perspective. How do you deal with feeling “less” just because society has a different checklist of what makes a good partner?