I(18f) was thinking about how I've never really kept a single best friend. In elementary/middle school, I'd have a best friend for one school year, and then the next they'd turn against me and or/get closer to other people.
It was sad, and made me feel excluded. Yet, I kinda understand why they ditched me. I was a socially awkward annoying little shit who was a goody-two shoes that loved Pokemon too much 🤷🏿♀️
I also think it's because I didn't know that people were very social outside of school until I was 17. I'm an extrovert raised by overprotective introverts; I only had 1-3 playdates/hangouts per school year until senior year. Most days I just went to school, sometimes stayed for club meetings, and went home.
After COVID hit, I just gave up on having a "best friend", and just let life happen. If I got close to someone? Great. If we drifted? great. But, it still hurts seeing people have close friends they hang out with often. Sometimes, despite being somewhat popular in high school, I still feel like the excluded weird girl.
For example, this year, someone who I thought was a close friend was like, "we should hang out this summer!" "we should play Minecraft together more!". Now, she's a bad texter with everyone; she'd never respond to my texts asking to play MC or go to the mall. She's unemployed and doesn't have any mental health issues I know of, so idk why she takes more than 5 days to respond.
I communicated. I told her it hurts when I try making plans but she doesn't respond, and she apologized, but didn't fix it. Yet, on Insta I'd see her hanging out with her other friends. friends with chiller parents. friends who smoke weed and weren't raised "the good kid". I wish I were like them. I wish my friend would communicate if she really liked me or not.
….so, how do you keep a friendship?