Context: 2 miscarriages in the last year so we’ve been through some shit. Got married in September last year and have been together for nearly 6 years.
Sorry this is long
I (26F) have been feeling extremely guilty for my feelings lately. I keep thinking about how much my life would be easier and painless if I was single again (I know I’ll probably answer my own thoughts writing this).
I work away a fair bit at the moment. I’m an apprentice sparky and in my fourth year so I have a fair bit of trade school until I finish in December. When I’m at work I tend to do heaps of overtime and working away. To put it into perspective my husband (28M) and I earn the same amount hourly and I cleared $20k more than him in the last financial year. So when I get home I tend to be exhausted (I also have chronic fatigue which doesn’t help) so I know that I could definitely give him more attention and help more around the house when I’m home. We’ve spoken about all of this and move on. I feel like he never takes into consideration how much I bust my ass for us. He just tells me I don’t need to.
Sex obviously is a big issue because I’m tired a lot and he doesn’t feel loved (I guess is the right way to say it). He tells me it’s not about the sex but it also is about the sex so I’m obviously confused. But also whenever I decide I have the energy for it he just yells at me about mediocre shit that day so I don’t wanna do it anymore.
We go away for a weekend away and everything is great no arguments but when we get home (today it literally took less than 5 minutes) he just nit picks at me about small stuff and tells me I over think things I should know. Like putting our work uniforms in the wash, I didn’t know he wanted his sprayed I thought soap was enough. He had a go at me because the normal powder isn’t enough so I went to take the clothes out and he cracked it at me again because I could just use the other powder that does the same thing as the spray. When I spoke to him about this he said “I guess I’m the worst person in the world” I don’t know how much more I can take of this. There’s obviously a lot more but I think today was my final straw tbh. Any advice?