My brother in law (husbands brother) and his fiancée have shown me in multiple ways that they dislike me. It’s mostly his fiancée that doesn’t like me. I speculate the reason is simply jealousy as in laws have welcomed me into the family in a way she never was welcomed and as a result I definitely think that’s the reason why we aren’t friends. Either way this woman ignores me at every family gathering and pretends I don’t exist, I recently had a baby and she didn’t message once to say congrats or check in on me once during my pregnancy and she told my mother in law that she couldn’t make it to my baby shower because she was working. Why couldn’t she reach out directly to me? Anyway she doesn’t want to engage with me in any way it seems.
They’re planning a big flashy wedding 3 hours away this summer and my husband has been asked to be best man at his brothers wedding. It’s a weekday wedding which means my husband has to take time off to be there which he’s not keen to do. He’s also expressed to me that he doesn’t want to be the best man or attend the bachelors party or be involved but he’s stringing them a long and when the time comes has told me will just make an excuse for those other events but he’s still happy to stand at the alter and do his part there. They called him when I was 10 days postpartum and were discussing the wedding and none of them asked how I was doing after I gave birth 10 days ago. They asked how the baby was but there was no mention of me. She also sent me a friend request on Facebook around the time I gave birth so she had the means of messaging me but just didn’t. Probably wanted to see what was on my profile and compare and find something else to be jealous of.
Every time the family (in laws) talk about the wedding they’ll do it when I’m not around. Everyone has been offered a part being in the wedding including my baby but no mention of me at all. Which is fine I guess I don’t expect to be in the wedding but I am more so offended that they don’t have any respect towards me at all or simply care and I haven’t actually done anything wrong towards them. It’s simply they dislike me because I exist. I don’t even think I’m invited at this point. Or if I am invited it’s a case of “ well we we have to invite her because she’s the grooms brothers wife”. I don’t want to be made to feel that way and I am considering skipping the whole thing altogether and that would also mean my baby who would be 9 months would also not be going because I’m breastfeeding.
I have family who live abroad so I’m thinking of asking them to come out that week and having an excuse that they haven’t seen the baby in months so I’m spending time with them instead.
Husband knows I really don’t want to go but he’s a little upset that he has to go without his family. I have expressed all of this to him and he can see my point of view and also senses that I’m disliked. Do I go to the wedding or protect my peace and not go?