I 30F am married to a musician 27M. The thing that drew us together seems to be the biggest conflict in our marriage. He has a lot of strengths in areas that I am not, and I have a lot of strengths in areas he is not.
The biggest problem we have is actually getting anything done because he instantly shuts down any suggestions I have when he is clearly struggling to bring his visions to life.
For example , we live in a rented home that has a master bedroom and a decent sized garage. Although it isn’t his ideal place to build a set and record videos , I let him know that there are a million ways we can make this space work. People do it everyday. Prisoners find ways to make alcohol in prison with their resources, so we can definitely create a space for you to film in this house.
It takes a vision and planning. I am strong in this area and I let him know that we can transform any of these rooms into a place that he can do what he wants. There’s temporary wallpaper that’s renter friendly, there’s soundproofing panels we can put up… we can design the lighting and absolutely create something that you can utilize to create your videos.
Every time I let him know this can be done , he gets irritated with me and walks away because it’s not exactly what he wants.
In my opinion , if you want something bad enough , you make it work. I spent 9 years of my life painting in a tiny bedroom on the floor out of a tote that I constantly had to pack up when I was done for the day because I didn’t have a studio or the space for one.
I am blessed to have a studio now , but my point is , you have to work with what you’re given sometimes in order to get ahead.
Every single time I believe in his visions and let him know what it takes to make it happen , he shuts down and says he doesn’t want it anymore. We don’t get ahead on anything together because we can’t work together to create anything.
I get it as an artist , when you have a vision in your head , sometimes it feels like compromising that is off the table , but day after day slips by for us , and no progress is being made when he has a vision that can actually fn work.
I’ve gotten to the point where I just keep my mouth closed, but it’s so frustrating that he lets his pride and inability to adapt and overcome , hinder the progress of obtaining what he wants , when the things he struggles with come so easy to me.
I just told him that he’s never gonna have what he wants if he doesn’t open his mind and work with what we have. People dream of even having one single room to create music studio, and here we are with a master bedroom and garage.
It’s not ideal. It’s not an isolated space separate from the house solely designed for recording and production, but we will never obtain a space like that if we don’t take the first step , which is using what we DO have.
Does anyone else married to a creative ever struggle with things like this ?
How do you work through the barriers and put thoughts into action when each of your visions is so strong ?
I’m at a loss. Any advice would greatly be appreciated.
It’s not a matter of leaving each other or divorcing. It’s what comes with being married to a creative mind and that comes with passion and stubbornness sometimes. That’s the reality.