I just had a new baby 2 months ago now and have a 19 month old as well. Once I got pregnant the 2nd time, my husband stopped helping. His dad died last july so I contributed the lack of help to grief. Then his knee started hurting. So I figured he needed time to heal his knee and grieving. He lost his job around October.
Since then, he hasn't helped me at all. I work as a nurse so my whole pregnancy I was working 12 hour shifts, on my feet, and this pregnancy was tough. I got huge and my baby ended up being 9 pounds. I had horrible pelvic pain, knee pain, back pain, you name it.
My whole pregnancy he maybe woke up early a total of 3 mornings to help with our toddler. Even when I got the flu while pregnant. I begged him one morning to get up to get our toddler breakfast and he refused.
Now that we have 2 babies, hes still refusing to get up. He stays up until 5 am doing god knows what and then sleeps until 5pm most days. He had surgery on his knee 2 months ago and is saying it didnt help and its worse now, but skips dr appointments and PT.
I go back to work in 2 weeks and have NO CLUE how hes going to take care of 2 babies. My mom has been coming to help me for the past 2 months basically everyday but she says she refuses to help while a grown man lays in bed all day.
I'm at the point of wanting a divorce but really really dont want a judge telling me when I can and cant see my kids. Especially since he'd probably get partial custody and I do not trust him to care for our children.
What would you do in this situation? I also can't necessarily afford attorneys and divorce. But I am really sick of the way he's treating me 😔
I've tried talking to him nicely, I've tried to help setting him up with counseling, I've tried tough love, I've tried setting up couples counseling, I've even tried kicking him out for the night but he refuses to leave.
NOTHING HAS HELPED.
Literally as I type this at 2pm he's in bed while I struggle taking care of 2 kids alone. When I try to wake him up, he just covers his face and goes back to sleep and tells me to shut up. My maternity leave has been so stressful and I love my babies so much, but getting no down time for myself is really tough. I barely have time to shower or eat. I'm breastfeeding so me not eating impacts the baby as well.