Theres a decent bit of backstory to this but basically me (M18) and my girlfriend (F18) have been dating for almost 10 months and we are very happy together. She has had multiple partners before and has had sex with around 6 other guys whereas I was a complete virgin when we met. As much as I hate thinking about it i understand she has had other partners and for awhile she told me I was the only guy who had ever made her cum despite being the smallest.
I should mention I have quite a small penis from a messed up circumcision so its pretty fucked up down there but she doesn't mind and even calls it a frankenweenie sometimes. Whilst she doesn't mind, It has created a lot of issues for me primarily that i'm quite small (Around 4-4.5") nothing ridiculous but not as much as I would like. The other issue is I have really severe premature ejaculation. Like the first time we had sex which was almost me losing my virginity I came before it even went in which was mortifying. Ive learnt to overcome it in ways through head and fingering but it always comes back to haunt me as the second we try penetration I have to go incredibly slow as to not cum immediately so its not great.
Basically she told me yesterday that she had faked every orgasm she had ever had and when I asked her if she had ever gotten close she told me yes with another guy which really fucked me up for the last few days. I feel like despite my issues, I was making her cum and so I was doing a good job but now I know thats a lie and its kind of ruined my confidence in bed, I was already not a fan of sex since it took me so much effort to not cum plus I am largely numb down there so theres not too much in it for me but now I just don't know how to approach it. Her telling me she got closer with another guy also really messed me up as I know im the smallest guy shes ever been with but the idea of it still is awful and the thought of her with another guy has been kind of haunting me the last few nights but I understand she has had other partners and thats how it is.
She has also asked me recently if I would be ok with her getting a dildo thats significally bigger than mine like twice the size and I said as long as it doesnt look real. She has also asked about penis extenders which ive thought about and im not totally against but im not sure if it would damage my confidence actually using one.
I dont really know what im looking to get by posting this but I felt like I had to tell someone about it because i dont really know what to do or what to feel. Maybe some other guy in a similar boat to me can give me some insight into how they dealt with having a small dick because it really ruins a lot of stuff for me. Ive thought about getting an extender but I dont know because it feels very emasculating to use one and im slightly concerned she will like it too much and my dick wont be enough for her anymore