I am 21yo and I am a very tall, very conventionally attractive guy. I really hate the dominant role that many women expect of me. I hate choking, beating, demeaning my partner. I want to feel loved and wanted, not succumbed to. I shudder at the thought of keeping my ex on a leash like she asked me to. I am REALLY into hugs and kisses and that embarrasses me too. I do also kinda like being slapped myself, I understand why people are attracted to aggression, hell I would even enjoy being put on a leash etc. I just really hate hurting others, especially (and I am dead serious because I am VERY tall) small people who realistically can't hurt me at all. I feel like a monster at the thought of it and I feel horrible about women wanting me to be a monster. I feel so boring and weird because of it. I haven't had sex yet, I only ever talked about it with partners and stopped them during foreplay out of fear. I think I have a very intense fear of being sexually rejected for what I like. I met a nice girl recently and I really want to finally try it with her but I am scared she might not want me if she finds out what I am like.