My ex and I were together for a little over a year. We broke up in March, kept trying to work on things through May when he said something hurtful and I told him I didn't want to speak to him anymore (I was very mad). I started dating again, had a short fling and dumped the guy who disappointed me a lot. Now, with it being my ex and his son's bdays coming up, I reached out again. We had a long talk, I really felt I said what I needed to say. I saw his son on his (son)'s bday and gave him some gifts. Then invited my ex for lunch for his (ex's) bday. My ex and I had lunch Wednesday and just chatted mostly and I gave him a present as well. He said "see you laters?" after and it gave me a bit of hope. Also just how easy we get along talking with one another.
My therapist and I have discussed him a lot, she said "he sounds like the right person for you but his situation isn't ideal". That's how I feel. Very connected and drawn to him but his life is STRESSFUL and a lot of it is HIM (he's very messy). He acts like his kids and pets and crazy work schedule are the culprit but I think he's a bit of a slob and a maximalist.
I am so drawn to this man and have the most intense emotions. I feel happy, anxious, scared, excited, sad, EVERYTHING. It's very draining sometimes. Meanwhile I live alone and just have peace and quiet. It's hard to give that up. I don't know what to do. I don't know if this is even healthy.
One thing about it is I have worked on myself the last few months – setting boundaries especially, and I'm on meds now. That's what gives me hope we could work on our problems instead of me just walking away from them.
For those who have ever gotten back together with an ex, how did that go? Any advice for me? This isn't the first time I've done something like this, but I'm trying to make wiser better decisions as I get older, lol.