So my girlfriend and I have been together for around 3 years. She is a bartender and I’ve always felt that she can be too friendly with guys that try to hit on her and whatnot. She doesn’t reciprocate but she also doesn’t shut it down. She try’s to stay neutral but I take issue with that because flirting and even being knowingly flirted with is like playing with fire.
Another note is, she has always been straight and the most she would do is make out with another girl when she gets drunk, which I have no problem with. But I recently found out by going through her phone (trust issues in itself) that she had sex with her long time best friend. The texts I saw made it pretty clear that this was the first and only time it has happened.
After confronting her about it, she believes that it’s not a big deal because it was with another girl. It would be a valid problem if it was with a guy, But I see it the same as cheating any way you look at it. Especially since she wasn’t up front about it.
My other issue is with a coworker that has stated his love for her on multiple occasions. I ask her not to hangout with him outside of working hours but she will hangout with other people as well as him so it’s not ‘one on one.’
I truly believe my stance on these matters is justified and validated but what I’m asking is: is it controlling of me to expect her not to hangout out with these people who put a burden on our relationship?