I (25 F) chose to move out of my apartment that I share with two other girls 2 weeks ago (also 25Fs). I dropped the news on them after we had a year of incompatibility problems, i.e. they got closer to each other and stopped inviting me to things, they would go off on their own, forget to tell me details to plans, buy each other things, etc. I talked with them a total of 3 conversationsabout how this made me feel, which they did make some improvements on such as started to text me their plans and where they were headed (usually without me) and by the 4th time I told them it's better for my mental health to move out (their constant deprioritization of me started to make me suicidal with intent and passive plans to carry it out, I was then diagnosed with BPD and have a therapist now to help me with this).
Since then they've iced me out completely, erased me from their lives; they don't even look at me when I come home or acknowledge me. I've been kind of ignoring them too, I just say 'hi' when I come out and go about my day with my own friends and don't invite them. I stay in my room when they're in the living room and don't talk to them (when I've tried in the past they ignored me or gave me a simple reply). Ontop of this, being around them makes my heart race so fast, I get so nauseated, and my head starts ruminating and going down this crazy anxiety streak that I start to zone-out and can't come back. I think they take it that I am avoiding them on purpose (and to some extent I am for my sake) so they have returned the cold shoulder to me.
How can I check in with them that I don't hate them, I just get so sick around them, but I don't want to make them see me as this "poor sick girl with a mental illness", rather, I truly can't handle my body being around them. I wish I could say that we could still be friends, but I feel like they've talked behind me horribly at this point.